Monday, August 1, 2011

WICKED: Act 1

ACT I, SCENE 1



(We see a gigantic peaked black hat being used as a symbol to celebrate the Wicked Witch’s demise. Suddenly CITIZENS OF OZ spill out, cheering and celebrating. The hat disappears and we are outside the Wizard’s Palace, in the Emerald City, capital of the Land of Oz)



ALL

            GOOD NEWS!

            SHE’S DEAD!

            THE WITCH OF THE WEST IS DEAD!

THE WICKEDEST WITCH THERE EVER WAS

THE ENEMY OF ALL US HERE IN OZ

IS DEAD!

GOOD NEWS!

GOOD NEWS!



SOMEONE IN THE CROWD

Look! It’s Glinda!



(GLINDA, resplendent and beautiful in her gown and tiara, descends from the sky on a mechanical device that spews soap bubbles as the CELEBRANTS point and cheer.)



VARIOUS FANATICS

Is it really her? It is, it’s her! Glinda! We love yeeew, Glindaaaaa!



GLINDA

It’s good to see me, isn’t it?



FANATICS

                        (Shrieks)

Yes!



GLINDA

No need to respond—that was rhetorical.

                        (She smiles down on them)

Fellow Ozians—

                        (Sings)

            LET US BE GLAD

LET US BE GRATEFUL

LET US REJOICIFY THAT GOODNESS COULD SUBDUE

THE WICKED WORKINGS OF YOU-KNOW-WHO

ISN’T IT NICE TO KNOW

THAT GOOD WILL CONQUER EVIL?

THE TRUTH WE ALL BELIEVE’LL BY AND BY

OUTLIVE A LIE

FOR YOU AND—



SOMEONE IN THE CROWD

Glinda! Exactly how dead is she?



GLINDA

Because there has been so much rumor and speculation—innuendo, outuendo—let me set the record straight: According to the Time Dragon Clock, The Melting occurred at the thirteenth hour, the direct result of a bucket of water thrown by a female child. Yes, the Wicked Witch of the West is dead.



SOMEONE IN THE CROWD

            NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED



ANOTHER PERSON

            NO ONE CRIES: “THEY WON’T RETURN!”



ALL

            NO ONE LAYS A LILY ON THEIR GRAVE



MAN

            THE GOOD MAN SCORNS THE WICKED!



WOMEN

            THROUGH THEIR LIVES, OUR CHILDREN LEARN:



ALL

            WHAT WE MISS

            WHEN WE MISBEHAVE…



GLINDA

            AND GOODNESS KNOWS

THE WICKED’S LIVES ARE LONELY

GOODNESS KNOWS

THE WICKED DIE ALONE

IT JUST SHOWS WHEN YOU’RE WICKED

YOU’RE LEFT ONLY

ON YOUR OWN…



ALL

YES, GOODNESS KNOWS

THE WICKED’S LIVES ARE LONELY

GOODNESS KNOWS

THE WICKED CRY ALONE

NOTHING GROWS FOR THE WICKED

THEY REAP ONLY

WHAT THEY’VE SOWN…



GIRL IN THE CROWD

Glinda, why does Wickedness happen?



GLINDA

That’s a good question. One that many people find confusifying: Are people born Wicked? Or do they have Wickedness thrust upon them? After all, she had a childhood. She had a father… who just happened to be the Governor of Munchkinland…



            (From out of the past appears a somber-looking man: the WITCH’S FATHER)



WITCH’S FATHER

I’m off to the Assembly, dear!



GLINDA

And she had a mother. As so many do…



(A hauntingly beautiful woman rushes to the SOMBER MAN’S side: the WITCH’S MOTHER)



WITCH’S FATHER

            OH… HOW I HATE TO GO AND LEAVE YOU LONELY



WITCH’S MOTHER

            THAT’S ALRIGHT—IT’S ONLY JUST ONE NIGHT



WITCH’S FATHER

            BUT KNOW THAT YOU’RE HERE IN MY HEART

            WHILE I’M OUT OF YOUR SIGHT…



(The FATHER leaves, and instantly, the MOTHER wipes his kiss from her cheek. She opens a door…)



GLINDA

And like every family—they had their secrets.



            (And her LOVER, a mysterious man whose face remains in the shadows, appears.)



LOVER

            HAVE ANOTHER DRINK, MY DARK-EYED BEAUTY

I’VE GOT ONE MORE NIGHT LEFT HERE IN TOWN

SO HAVE ANOTHER DRINK OF GREEN ELIXIR

AND WE’LL HAVE OURSELVES A LITTLE MIXER

HAVE ANOTHER LITTLE SWALLOW, LITTLE LADY,

AND FOLLOW ME DOWN…



(THEY kiss; sink to the floor. The LOVER disappears. The MOTHER struggles back to her feet, now hugely pregnant—)



GLINDA

But from the moment she was born she was… well, different.



            (Suddenly the WITCH’S MOTHER clutches herself, in pain…)



WITCH’S MOTHER

Agghhh!!



(The WITCH’S FATHER rushes in, along with a MIDWIFE, who happens to be an Antelope. THEY hold her—)



MIDWIFE

It’s coming…



WITCH’S FATHER

Now?



MIDWIFE

The baby’s coming…



WITCH’S FATHER

And how!



MIDWIFE

            I SEE A NOSE…



WITCH’S FATHER

            I SEE A CURL…



MIDWIFE & WITCH’S FATHER

            IT’S A HEALTHY PERFECT LOVELY LITTLE…



MIDWIFE

Ohhhhh!



WITCH’S FATHER

Sweet Oz!



WITCH’S MOTHER

What is it? What’s wrong?



MIDWIFE

            HOW CAN IT BE?



WITCH’S FATHER

            WHAT DOES IT MEAN?



MIDWIFE

            IT’S ATROCIOUS!



WITCH’S FATHER

            IT’S OBSCENE!



MIDWIFE & WITCH’S FATHER

            LIKE A FROGGY, FERNY CABBAGE

            THE BABY IS UNNATURALLY—



ALL

            GREEN!!



WITCH’S FATHER

Take it away. Take it away…!



GLINDA

So you see—it couldn’t have been easy!



CROWD

            NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED

NOW AT LAST, SHE’S DEAD AND GONE

NOW AT LAST, THERE’S JOY THROUGHOUT THE LAND

AND GOODNESS KNOWS



GLINDA

            GOODNESS KNOWS…



CROWD

            WE KNOW WHAT GOODNESS IS



GLINDA

            HER LIFE WAS LONLEY…



CROWD

            GOODNESS KNOWS…



GLINDA

            GOODNESS KNOWS…



CROWD

            THE WICKED DIE ALONE…



GLINDA

            SHE DIED ALONE…



CROWD

            WOE TO THOSE

WHO SPURN WHAT GOODNESS IS

THEY ARE SHOWN

NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED…



GLINDA

            GOOD NEWS!



CROWD

            NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED!



GLINDA

            GOOD NEWS!



CROWD

            NO ONE MOURNS THE

WICKED!

WICKED!



CROWD

            WICKED!



GLINDA

Well, this has been fun. But as you can imagine, I have much to attend to, what with the Wizard’s unexpected departure. And so, if there are no further questions—



            (Suddenly, SOMEONE IN THE CROWD interrupts her.)



PERSON IN THE CROWD

Glinda! Is it true—you were her friend?!



            (The CROWD gasps in disbelief. GLINDA freezes, completely thrown.)



GLINDA

Uhm… Well, I… I… Yes.



            (The CROWD gasps)



GLINDA

Well, it depends on what you mean by “friend”. I did know her. That is, our paths did cross. At school… but you must understand it was along time ago… and we were both very young…



(And once again, the past comes alive. For GLINDA suddenly sees—her friend ELPHABA, just as she was on the day the GALINDA (as she was known then) first laid eyes on her, young, hopeful, and … green.)

















































SCENE 2



(In a parlor at Shiz University, the incoming STUDENTS gather.)



STUDENTS

            O HALLOWED HALLS AND VINE-DRAPPED WALLS…

THE PROUDLIEST SIGHT THERE IS

WHEN GREY AND SERE OUR HAIR HATH TURNED

WE SHALL STILL REVERE THE LESSONS LEARNED

IN OUR DAYS AT DEAR OLD SHIZ

OUR DAYS AT DEAR OLD…



            (GALINDA is the last to arrive, perched on an enormous stack of luggage.)



GALINDA

            OH-OH-OH-OH-OLD…



STUDENTS & GALINDA

            DEAR OLD SHIZ-ZZZZ…



            (GALINDA and all the other STUDENTS rudely gape at ELPHABA.)



ELPHABA

What? What are you all looking at? Oh—do I have something in my teeth? Alright, fine—we might as well get this over with: No, I’m not seasick; yes, I’ve always been green; no, I didn’t eat grass as a child…



            (The WITCH’S FATHER enters wheeling in NESSAROSE)



WITCH’S FATHER

Elphaba!



ELPHABA

This is my younger sister, Nessarose! As you can see she’s a perfectly normal color!



WITCH’S FATHER

Elphaba! Stop making a spectacle of yourself. Remember, I’m only sending you to this school for one reason.



ELPHABA

I know: to look after Nessa.



WITCH’S FATHER

My precious little girl: a parting gift.



NESSAROSE

Father… Jeweled Shoes?!



WITCH’S FATHER

As befits the future Governor of Munchkinland. Elphaba, take care of your sister. And try not to

talk so much.



            (The WITCH’S FATHER exits.)



NESSAROSE

Elphaba…



ELPHABA

Well, what could he get me? I clash with everything!



            (MADAME MORRIBLE, the school’s headmistress, enters.)



MORRIBLE

Welcome! Welcome, new students! I am Madame Morrible, head mistress here at Shiz University. And whether you are here to study law, logic or linguification I know I speak for my fellow faculty member when I say: We have nothing but the highest hopes, for some of you. Oh, you must be the Governor’s daughter! Miss Nessarose, isn’t it? What a tragically beautiful face you have! And who is—



            (MORRIBLE sees ELPHABA and screams.)



ELPHABA

I’m the other daughter, Elphaba. I’m beautifully tragic.



MORRIBLE

I see, well I’m sure you’re very bright!



GALINDA

Bright?! She’s phosphorescent!



            (The STUDENTS laugh)



MORRIBLE

Now, regarding room assignments.



            (ELPHABA and GALINDA raise their hands)



MORRIBLE

Is this regarding room assignments?



GALINDA

No, but thank you for asking, Madame Morrible, I’ve already been assigned a private suite.  But you all can come visit me whenever you want!



PFANNEE

How good of you!



SHENSHEN

You are so good!



GALINDA

No I’m not!



PFANNEE & SHENSHEN

Yes you are!



GALINDA

Now stop it!



MORRIBLE

Do you have a question?



GALINDA

Oh yes—you see, I am Galinda Upland, of the Upper Uplands? I’ve applied to your sorcery seminar. Perhaps you recall my entrance essay—“Magic Wands: Need They Have a Point?”



MORRIBLE

Yes, however, I do not teach my seminar every semester, of course if someone special were to come along—



GALINDA

Well, exactly!



ELPHABA

Madame Morrible, we have not yet received our room assignments.



MORRIBLE

The Governor made his concerns for you sister’s wellbeing quite apparent. She will share my compartment, where I can assist her as needed.



ELPHABA

But I’ve always looked after my sister!



NESSAROSE

Elphaba!



MORRIBLE

He never mentioned you. Just a slight gulch, no need to fret, we will find some place to put you.



ELPHABA

But, Madame…



GALINDA

You know, I don’t even think she read my essay!



BOQ

That is so unfair! You should say something!



GALINDA

Should I?



MORRIBLE

Attention! Which of you young ladies will volunteer to share with Miss Elphaba?



GALINDA

Madame Morrible—



MORRIBLE

Oh, thank you dear! That is very good of you!



GALINDA

What?



MORRIBLE

Yes, now you see Miss Elphaba, you can room with Miss Galinda! To your rooms, young ladies!



            (MADAME MORRIBLE starts to wheel NESSAROSE away.)



ELPHABA

No, wait!



NESSAROSE

Elphaba, please, I’ll be alright!



ELPHABA

But I promised father!



MORRIBLE

Young gentlemen, to your rooms!



ELPHABA

Let her go!!!



(ELPHABA loses control and makes something magical occur. NESSAROSE is mortified.)



MORRIBLE

How did you do that?



GALINDA

How did she do that?



NESSAROSE

Elphaba, you promised things would be different here!



MORRIBLE

You mean this has happened before?



ELPHABA

Well, something just comes over me sometimes, it’s something I can’t describe. I’ll try to control myself. I am so sorry, Nessa.



MORRIBLE

What?! Never apologize for talent! Talent is a gift! And that is my special talent, encouraging talent! Have you ever considered a career in sorcery?



ELPHABA

Not really…



MORRIBLE

I shall tutor you privately—and take no other students!



GALINDA

What?!



MORRIBLE

            MANY YEARS I HAVE WAITED

FOR A GIEFT LIKE YOURS TO APPEAR

WHY, I PREDICT THE WIZARD COULD MAKE YOU HIS

MAGIC GRAND VIZIER!



ELPHABA

The Wizard!?



MORRIBLE

            MY DEAR, MY DEAR

I’LL WRITE AT ONCE TO THE WIZARD—

TELL HIM OF YOU IN ADVANCE

WITH A TALENT LIKE YOURS, DEAR

THERE IS A DEFIN-ISH CHANCE

IF YOU WORK AS YOU SHOULD—

YOU’LL BE MAKING GOOD…



GALINDA

Now, Madame—



MORRIBLE

Not now, dear. Shoo! Shoo, shoo, shoo!



            (MADAME MORRIBLE and the CROWD disperse)



GALINDA

Something’s wrong. I didn’t get my way. I need to go lie down!



            (ELPHABA is left alone, dazed but thrilled.)



ELPHABA

DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?
HAVE I ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD?
THIS WEIRD QUIRK I'VE TRIED

TO SURPRESS OR HIDE
IS A TALENT THAT

COULD HELP ME MEET THE WIZARD
IF I MAKE GOOD
SO I'LL MAKE GOOD…


WHEN I MEET THE WIZARD,
ONCE I PROVE MY WORTH,
AND THEN I MEET THE WIZARD,
WHAT I'VE WAITED FOR SINCE—SINCE BIRTH!
AND WITH ALL HIS WIZARD WISDOM
BY MY LOOKS HE WON'T BE BLINDED
DO YOU THINK THE WIZARD IS DUMB?
OR LIKE MUNCHKINS, SO SMALL-MINDED?

NO! HE'LL SAY TO ME:

"I SEE WHO YOU TRULY ARE,
A GIRL ON WHOM I CAN RELY!"
AND THAT'S HOW WE'LL BEGIN
THE WIZARD AND I…


ONCE I'M WITH THE WIZARD,
MY WHOLE LIFE WILL CHANGE
'CUZ ONCE YOU'RE WITH THE WIZARD
NO ONE THINKS YOU'RE STRANGE
NO FATHER IS NOT PROUD OF YOU
NO SISTER ACTS ASHAMED
AND ALL OF OZ HAS TO LOVE YOU
WHEN BY THE WIZARD, YOU'RE ACLAIMED
AND THIS GIFT—OR THIS CURSE—
I HAVE INSIDE
MAYBE AT LAST, I'LL KNOW WHY
WHEN WE ARE HAND IN HAND—
THE WIZARD AND I!


AND ONE DAY, HE'LL SAY TO ME: "ELPHABA,
A GIRL WHO IS SO SUPERIOR,
SHOULDN'T A GIRL WHO'S SO GOOD INSIDE
HAVE A MATCHING EXTERIOR?
AND SINCE FOLKS HERE TO AN OBSURED DEGREE
SEEM FIXATED ON YOUR VERDEGRIS
WOULD IT BE ALRIGHT BY YOU
IF I DE-GREENIFY YOU?"
AND THOUGH OF COURSE THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT TO ME
"ALL RIGHT, WHY NOT?" I'LL REPLY
OH, WHAT A PAIR WE'LL BE
THE WIZARD AND I…
YES, WHAT A PAIR WE'LL BE
THE WIZARD AND...


UNLIMITED!

 MY FUTURE IS UNLIMITED
AND I'VE JUST HAD A VISION

 ALMOST LIKE A PROPHECY
I KNOW—IT SOUNDS TRULY CRAZY
AND TRUE, THE VISION'S HAZY
BUT I SWEAR, SOME DAY THERE'LL BE
A CELEBRATION THROUGHOUT OZ
THAT'S ALL TO DO WITH ME!
AND I'LL STAND THERE WITH THE WIZARD
FEELING THINGS I'VE NEVER FELT
AND THOUGH I'D NEVER SHOW IT
I'LL BE SO HAPPY, I COULD MELT!
AND SO IT WILL BE

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
AND I'LL WANT NOTHING ELSE TILL I DIE
HELD IN SUCH HIGH ESTEEM!
WHEN PEOPLE SEE ME THEY WILL SCREAM
FOR HALF OF OZ'S FAVORITE TEAM:
THE WIZARD
AND I!



































































SCENE 3



            (GALINDA and ELPHABA are in their dormitory room, both dutifully writing home.)



GALINDA

Dearest darlingest Momsie and Popsicle…



ELPHABA

My dear Father…



BOTH

            THERE’S BEEN SOME CONFUSION

            OVER ROOMING HERE AT SHIZ…



ELPHABA

            BUT OF COURSE, I’LL CARE FOR NESSA…



GALINDA

BUT OF COURSE, I’LL RISE ABOVE IT…



BOTH

            FOR I KNOW THAT’S HOW YOU’D WANT ME TO RESPOND

YES, THERE’S BEEN SOME CONFUSSION

FOR YOU SEE, MY ROOMMATE IS…



GALINDA

            UNUSUALLY AND EXCEEDINGLY PECULIAR

AND ALTOGETHER QUITE IMPOSSIBLE TO DESCRIBE…



ELPHABA

            BLONDE.



GALINDA

            WHAT IS THIS FEELING

            SO SUDDEN AND NEW?



ELPHABA

            I FELT THE MOMENT

            I LAID EYES ON YOU



GALINDA

            MY PULSE IS RUSHING…



ELPHABA

            MY HEAD IS REELING…



GALINDA

            MY FACE IS FLUSHING



BOTH

            WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

            FERVID AS A FLAME

            DOES IT HAVE A NAME

            YES!:

            LOATHING

            UNADULTERATED LOATHING…



GALINDA

            FOR YOUR FACE…



ELPHABA

            YOUR VOICE…



GALINDA

            YOUR CLOTHING…



BOTH

            LET’S JUST SAY—I LOATHE IT ALL!

            EV’RY LITTLE TRAIT, HOWEVER SMALL

            MAKES MY VERY FLESH BEGIN TO CRAWL

WITH SIMPLE UTTER LOATHING

THERE’S A STRANGE EXHILARATION

IN SUCH TOTAL DETESTAION

IT’S SO PURE! SO STRONG!

THOUGH I DO ADMIT IT CAME ON FAST

STILL I DO BELIEVE THAT IT CAN LAST

AND I WILL BE LOATHING

LOATHING YOU

MY WHOLE LIFE LONG!



STUDENTS

            DEAR GALINDA, YOU ARE JUST TOO GOOD!

            HOW DO YOU STAND IT? I DON’T THINK I COULD!

            SHE’S A TERROR! SHE’S A TARTAR!

            WE DON’T MEAN TO SHOW A BIAS

            BUT GALINDA YOU’RE A MARTYR!



GALINDA

            WELL… THESE THINGS ARE SENT TO TRY US!



STUDENTS

            POOR GALINDA, FORCED TO RESIDE

            WITH SOMEONE SO DISGUSTICIFIED

WE JUST WANT TO TELL YOU:

WE’RE ALL ON YOUR SIDE!

WE SHARE YOUR…



GALINDA & ELPHABA                                                                                            STUDENTS

WHAT IS THIS FEELING                                                                                            LOATHING

SO SUDDEN AND NEW?                                                        UNADULTERATED LOATHING

I FELT THE MOMENT                                                                  FOR HER FACE, HER VOICE

I LAID EYES ON YOU                                                                                        HER CLOTHING

MY PULSE IS RUSHING                                                                                  LET’S JUST SAY:

MY HEAD IS REELING                                                                             WE LOATHE IT ALL!

OH, WHAT IS THIS FEELING?                                                               EV’RY LITTLE TRAIT

                                                                                                                          HOWEVER SMALL

DOES IT HAVE A NAME?                                                              MAKES OUR VERY FLESH

YES…                                                                                                           BEGIN TO CRAWL… 

AHHH…                                                                                                                             AHHH…



ALL

            LOATHING!



GALINDA & ELPHABA                                                                                            STUDENTS

THERE’S A STRANGE EXHILARATION                                                                 LOATHING

IN SUCH TOTAL DETESTATION                                                                              LOATHING

SO PURE, SO STRONG!



STUDENTS

            SO STRONG!



GALINDA & ELPHABA

            THOUGH I DO ADMIT IT CAME ON FAST

            STILL I DO ADMIT THAT IT CAN LAST



GALINDA & ELPHABA                                                                                            STUDENTS

AND I WILL BE LOATHING                                                                                      LOATHING

FOR FOREVER LOATHING                                                                                       LOATHING

TRULY, DEEPLY LOATHING YOU                                                                LOATHING YOU

FOR MY WHOLE LIFE LONG!                                                       LOATHING, UNADULTER-

                                                                                                                            ATED LOATHING



ELPHABA

Boo!



GALINDA

Ahhh!



            (ELPHABA laughs)



























            SCENE 4



(In a lecture hall, the STUDENTS take their seats for DOCTOR DILLAMOND’S class. DOCTOR DILLAMOND is a Goat.)



DILLAMOND

Settle down, students! Settle down now! I have read your most recent essays and I am amazed to report some progress. Although some of us still tend to favor form over content. Miss Glinda.



GALINDA

It’s Galinda with a Ga.



DILLAMOND

Yes, of course. Miss Glinda.



GALINDA

I really don’t see what the problem is, every other professor seems to able to pronounce my name.



ELPHABA

Maybe perfecting the pronunciation of your precious name is not the sole focus of Doctor Dillamond’s life. And maybe he’s not like every other professor. Maybe some of us are different! 



GALINDA

Well, it seems the artichoke is steamed!



            (The STUDENTS laugh)



DILLAMOND

Class! Class! Miss Elphaba has a point. Doubtless you’ve noticed I am the sole Animal on the faculty. The Token Goat as it were. But it wasn’t always this way. My dear students, how I wish you could have known this place as it once was. When one could walk these halls and hear an Antelope explicating a sonnet, a Snow Leopard solving a equation, a Wildebeest waxing philosophic! Can you see, dear students, what is being lost? How our dear Oz is becoming less and less… well, colorful. Now, who can tell me what set this into motion?  



ELPHABA

From what I read it began with the Great Drought.



DILLAMOND

Precisely! Food grew scarce, people grew hungrier and angrier and the question became “whom can we blame?” Can anyone tell me what is meant by the term “Scapegoat”? Someone besides Miss Elphaba. Yes, Miss Glinda.



GALINDA

It’s Galinda with a Ga. And don’t see why you can’t just teach us history instead of always harping on the past.



DILLAMOND

Well, perhaps these question that I’ve prepared—



(As he turns his chalkboard around to pose the question, he sees that, across the board, someone has painted: “Animals should be seen and not heard.” DILLAMOND is shocked.)



DILLAMOND

Who is responsible for this? I’m waiting for an answer. Very well, that will be all for today. You heard me, class dismissed!



            (Only ELPHABA lingers.)



ELPHABA

You go ahead, Nessa. Animals should be seen and not heard?!



DILLAMOND

Oh, Miss Elphaba, don’t worry about me. Go and join your friend.



ELPHABA

That’s alright, I have no friends. Would you like to share my lunch?



DILLAMOND

Thank you. How kind. I’ve seemed to have lost my appetite.



ELPHABA

You shouldn’t let ignorant statements like that bother you. I mean, I always do, but you shouldn’t.



DILLAMOND

Oh, Miss Elphaba—if only it were just a matter of words on a chalkboard! But the things one hears these days. Dreadful things…

                        (Sings)

            I’VE HEARD OF AN OX

A PROFESSOR FROM QUOX

NO LONGER PERMITTED TO TEACH

WHO HAS LOST ALL POWERS OF SPEECH…



ELPHABA

What?



DILLAMOND

            AND AN OWL IN MUNCHKIN ROCK

            A VICAR WITH A THRIVING FLOCK

            FOBIDDEN TO PREACH

            NOW HE ONLY CAN SCREECH

            ONLY RUMORS—BUT STILL—

            ENOUGH TO GIVE PAUSE

            TO ANYONE WITH PAWS

            SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING IN OZ…



ELPHABA

            SOMETHING BAD? HAPPENING IN OZ…?



DILLAMOND

            UNDER THE SURFACE

            BEHIND THE SCENES

            SOMETHING BAAAAAAD…



(They’re both startled by an unfamiliar sound. It’s coming from DOCTOR DILLAMOND himself—a kind of belting. DILLAMOND hastily covers his mouth, clears his throat.)



DILLAMOND

            BAD.



ELPHABA

Doctor Dillamond, are you alright? Shall I fetch you a glass of water?



DILLAMOND

No, I don’t know what came over me.



ELPHABA

So you’re saying that there are Animals that have somehow forgotten how to speak? How is that possible?



DILLAMOND

Well with so much pressure not to. If you make it discouraging enough you can keep anyone silent. But I for one will never… 



            (MADAME MORRIBLE enters.)



DILLAMOND

Oh, Madame Morrible!



MORRIBLE

I heard there was some sort of disturberance in class. Are you alright, Doctor? And Miss Elphaba, you’re still here? I thought you’d be on your way to my seminar by now.



ELPHABA

Yes, Madame, I would be but…



MORRIBLE

But? I do hope I haven’t misplaced my trust in you. Magic is a demanderating mistress, and if one’s ambition is to meet the Wizard. I’m sure Doctor Dillamond sees my point.



            (MADAME MORRIBLE exits.)



ELPHABA

I better go. Doctor Dillamond, if something bad is happening to the Animals, someone’s got to tell the Wizard! He’ll make it right! That’s why we have a Wizard—

                        (Sings)

SO NOTHING BAD…



DILLAMOND

I hope you’re right—



BOTH

NOTHING ALL THAT BAD…



DILLAMOND

            NOTHING TRULY BAAAAAAAAD…

            SORRY—BAD…



            (Unsettled, DOCTOR DILLAMOND leaves the classroom. ELPHABA watches him go…)



ELPHABA

            IT COULDN’T HAPPEN HERE

            IN OZ…















































































            SCENE 5



            (In the courtyard, a new student arrives.)



ELPHABA

Hey!



AVARIC

Be quiet, miss, you’ll disturb him!



ELPHABA

I certainly will! Hey, you! Wake up!



AVARIC

Young lady, do you realize who this is?!



ELPHABA

I don’t care who he is! Your cart nearly knocked me over and you’re sleeping!



FIYERO

Of course, it’s daytime. Well, see you soon, Avaric. I’m sure I won’t last any longer at this school then I did at any of the others.



ELPHABA

Is this really how you go through life? Nearly knocking people over and not even noticing them?!



FIYERO

Well maybe the driver saw seen and thought it meant go.



BOQ

Miss Galinda! I know I’m just a mere Munchkin. But even a Munchkin has feelings! And I have tried to tell you of mine for you but sometimes it’s like you don’t even know who I am.



GALINDA

That’s not true, Bick.



BOQ

Boq.



GALINDA

Bick, do you realize who that is?!



BOQ

You’re touching me!



GALINDA

That is Fiyero Tigelaar! He is that Winkie Prince who’s reputation is so scandalacious!

                        (To FIYERO)

Were you looking for something or someone?



FIYERO

Yes, some sort of history class somewhere over there.



BOQ

That is the history building right down there!



GALINDA

That class just ended.



FIYERO

Perfect timing. So what does one do you fun around here?



GALINDA

Nothing, until now.



BOQ

We’ve been studying.



FIYERO

I see the responsibility to corrupt my fellow students falls to me. Fortunately I am up to the task.

                        (Sings)  

            THE TROUBLE WITH SCHOOLS IS

            THEY ALWAYS TRY TO TEACH THE WRONG LESSON

            BELIEVE ME, I’VE BEEN KICKED OUT

            OF ENOUGH OF THEM TO KNOW

            THEY WANT TO BECOME LESS CALLOW

            LESS SHALLOW

            BUT I SAY: WHY INVITE STRESS IN?

            STOP STUDYING STRIFE

            AND LEARN TO LIVE “THE UNEXAMINED LIFE”…



            DANCING THROUGH LIFE

            SKIMMING THE SURFACE

            GLIDING WHERE TURF IS SMOOTH

LIFE’S MORE PAINLESS

FOR THE BRAINLESS

WHY THINK TOO HARD?

WHEN IT’S SO SOOTHING

DANCING THROUGH LIFE

NO NEED TO TOUGH IT

WHEN YOU CAN SLOUGH IT OFF AS I DO

NOTHING MATTERS

BUT KNOWING NOTHING MATTERS

IT’S JUST LIFE

SO KEEP DANCING THROUGH…



DANCING THROUGH LIFE

SWAYING AND SWEEPING

AND ALWAYS KEEPING COOL

LIFE IS FRAUGHT LESS

WHEN YOU’RE THOUGHTLESS

THOSE WHO DON’T TRY

NEVER LOOK FOOLISH

DANCING THROUGH LIFE…

MINDLESS AND CARELESS

MAKE SURE YOU’RE WHERE LESS

TROUBLE IS RIFE

WOES ARE FLEETING

BLOWS ARE GLANCING…

WHEN YOU’RE DANCING…

THROUGH LIFE…



So—what’s the most swankified place in town?



GALINDA

That would be the Ozdust Ballroom



FIYERO

Sounds perfect!

                        (Sings)

LET’S GO DOWN TO THE OZDUST BALLROOM

WE’LL MEET THERE LATER TONIGHT

WE CAN DANCE TILL IT’S LIGHT

FIND THE PRETTIEST GIRL…

GIVER ‘ER A WHIRL

RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE OZDUST BALLROOM

COME ON—FOLLOW ME

YOU’LL BE HAPPY TO BE THERE…



ALL

            DANCING THROUGH LIFE

            DOWN AT THE OZDUST…



FIYERO

            IF ONLY BECAUSE DUST

            IS WHAT WE COME TO…



ALL

            NOTHING MATTERS

            BUT KNOWING NOTHING MATTERS

            IT’S JUST LIFE…



FIYERO

            SO KEEP DANCING THROUGH…



BOQ

Miss Galinda—I hope you’ll save at least one dance for me. I’ll be right there. Right by your side. Waiting. All night.



GALINDA

Oh—that’s so kind—Bick.



BOQ

Boq.



GALINDA

But you know what would be even kinder?

                        (Sings)

            SEE THAT TRAGIC’LY BEAUTIFUL GIRL

            THE ONE IN THE CHAIR

            IT SEEMS SO UNFAIR

            WE SHOULD GO ON A SPREE

            AND NOT SHEE

            GEE—

            I KNOW SOMEONE WOULD BE MY HERO

            IF THAT SOMEONE WERE

            TO GO INVITE HER…



BOQ

Well, maybe—I could invite her!



GALINDA

            OH, BICK, REALLY? YOU WOULD DO THAT FOR ME!?



BOQ

I would do anything for you, Miss Galinda. Excuse me, Miss Nessarose? There’s something I’d like to ask you…



            (BOQ wheels NESSAROSE away. FIYERO approaches GALINDA with admiration.)



FIYERO

You’re good.



GALINDA

I don’t know what you mean! But I do happen to be free tonight, so…



FIYERO

…So I’ll be picking you up around eight?



GALINDA

After all—

                        (Sings)

            NOW THAT WE’VE MET ONE ANOTHER…



FIYERO & GALINDA

            IT’S CLEAR—WE DESERVE EACH OTHER



GALINDA

            YOU’RE PERFECT…



FIYERO

            YOU’RE PERFECT…



BOTH

            SO WE’RE PERFECT TOGETHER

            BORN TO BE FOREVER…

            DANCING THROUGH LIFE…































































































            SCENE 6



(ELPHABA, observing the other STUDENTS in this celebratory frenzy, expresses her disdain for FIYERO to NESSAROSE.)



ELPHABA

It’s absurd! This silly rich boy appears and everyone’s off to worship him and some cultish social gathering!



NESSAROSE

Even me! I’m going! Isn’t it wonderful? Boq was too shy to ask me at first but once Galinda encouragerized him—



ELPHABA

Galinda?!



NESSAROSE

Don’t! Don’t you dare say another word against her. I’m about to have the first happy night of my life, thanks to Galinda.

                        (Sings)

            FIN’LLY, FOR THIS ONE NIGHT

            I’M ABOUT TO HAVE A FUN NIGHT

            WITH THIS MUNCHKIN BOY

            GALINDA FOUND FOR ME

            AND I ONLY WISH THERE WERE

            SOMETHING I COULD DO FOR HER

TO REPAY HER

ELPHABA, SEE?

WE DESERVE EACH OTHER

AND GALINDA HELPED IT COME TRUE

WE DESERVE EACH OTHER

ME AND BOQ…



Please, Elphaba—try to understand…



ELPHABA

            I DO…



            (In the room she shares with ELPHABA, GALINDA prepares for the dance.)



GALINDA

Do me up. And now I must accessorize myself for Fiyero.



(Two mean girls, PFANNEE and SHENSHEN, find a pointy black hat amongst GALINDA’S things.)



SHENSHEN

Galinda, what in Oz name?



GALINDA

Pretend you didn’t see that. My granny is always buying me the most hideoteous hats. I’d give it away but I don’t hate anyone that much.



PFANNEE & SHENSHEN

Yes you do.



GALINDA

Oh no. I couldn’t. Could I?



            (ELPHABA comes to thank GALINDA for her kindness to NESSAROSE.)



ELPHABA

Galinda—my sister and I were talking about you just now—



GALINDA

And I was just talking about you! I thought you might want to wear this to the party tonight!

                        (Sings)

            IT’S REALLY, UH, SHARP, DON’T YOU THINK?

            YOU KNOW—BLACK IS THIS YEAR’S PINK

            YOU DESERVE EACH OTHER

            THIS HAT AND YOU

            YOU’RE BOTH SO SMART

            YOU DESERVE EACH OTHER

            SO HERE, OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART…



(Later, in the Ozdust Ballroom, FIYERO and GALINDA dance as BOQ and NESSAROSE look on.)



NESSAROSE

What’s in the punch?



BOQ

Lemons and melons and pears.



NESSAROSE

Oh my!



BOQ

            LISTEN—NESSA—



NESSAROSE

            YES?



BOQ

            UH—NESSA

            I’VE GOT SOMETHING TO CONFESS, A

            REASON WHY, WELL—WHY I ASKED YOU HERE TONIGHT

            NOW I KNOW IT ISN’T FAIR…



NESSAROSE

Oh, Boq. I know why.



BOQ

You do?



NESSAROSE

            IT’S BECAUSE I’M IN THIS CHAIR

            AND YOU FELT SORRY FOR ME—

            WELL? ISN’T THAT RIGHT?



BOQ

No! No! It’s because… because…



            (But he can’t bring himself to tell her the truth.)



BOQ

            BECAUSE YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL



NESSAROSE

            OH, BOQ, I THINK YOU’RE WONDERFUL!

            AND WE DESERVE EACH OTHER

            DON’T YOU SEE, THIS IS OUR CHANCE?

WE DESERVE EACH OTHER

DON’T WE, BOQ?



BOQ

            YOU KNOW WHAT? LET’S DANCE!



NESSAROSE

What?



BOQ

            LET’S DANCE!



(BOQ begins to wheel a smitten NESSAROSE onto the dance floor. Suddenly, MADAME MORRIBLE struts into the Ozdust.)



MORRIBLE

Miss Upland!



GALINDA

Madame Morrible! What are you doing here?



MORRIBLE

I have something for you.



GALINDA

Oh, Madame! A training wand! How can I ever express my gratitution?



MORRIBLE

Don’t thank me. This was your roommate’s idea, not mine.



GALINDA

What? Elphaba?



MORRIBLE

Yes, Miss Elphaba requested that I include you in sorcery class. She insisted that I tell you this very night or she would quite the seminar.



GALINDA

But why?



MORRIBLE

I have no idea! My personal opinion is that you do not have what it takes. I hope you prove me wrong. I doubt you will!



FIYERO

What is it?



GALINDA

I got what I wanted.



FIYERO

So what’s the matter?



GALINDA

Nothing.



FIYERO

Good. Let’s dance.



(ELPHABA walks in, wearing a pointing black hat. In a split second ELPHABA realizes that GALINDA has tricked her. The other STUDENTS laugh and point.)



FIYERO

Who in Oz is that?



GALINDA

My roommate. Please don’t stare.



FIYERO

How can you help it?



(Determined to ignore them, ELPHABA closes her eyes and, all by herself, starts to dance—Galinda feels terrible for what she’s done.)



FIYERO

I’ll say this much for her: she doesn’t give a twig about what anyone else thinks.



GALINDA

Of coarse she does, she just pretends not to. I feel awful.



FIYERO

Why? It’s not like it’s your fault.



GALINDA

Excuse me.



            (In a show of solidarity, she joins ELPHABA on the dance floor.)



GALINDA

May I cut in?



ALL

DANCING THROUGH LIFE

DOWN AT THE OZDUST

IF ONLY BECAUSE DUST

IS WHAT WE COME TO

AND THE STRANGE THING:

YOUR LIFE COULD END OF CHANGING

WHILE YOU’RE DANCING

THROUGH!

                       











           



















































            SCENE 7



          (Back in their dormitory room, ELPHABA and GALINDA have been up all night.)



GALINDA

Your very first party ever?



ELPHABA

Do funerals count?



GALINDA

You very first party! I know, let’s each tell the other something we’ve never told anyone! I’ll go first! Fiyero and I are going to be married!



ELPHABA

He’s asked you already?!



GALINDA

No, he doesn’t know yet. Now you tell me a secret.



ELPHABA

Like what?



GALINDA

Like… like why do you sleep with this funny little green bottle underneath your pillow?



ELPHABA

Give it back!



GALINDA

Come on, tell me!



ELPHABA

Give it to me now!



GALINDA

Tell me!



ELPHABA

It was my mothers! That’s all.



GALINDA

That’s not fair, I told you a really good one!



ELPHABA

My father hates me.



            (GALINDA gasps)



ELPHABA

That’s not the secret. The secret is he has a good reason. It’s my fault.



GALINDA

What? What is?



ELPHABA

The reason my sister is the way she is. You see, when our mother was carrying Nessa, my father began to worry that the new baby might come out…



GALINDA & ELPHABA

…green…



ELPHABA

He was so worried he made our mother chew milk flowers day and night. Only it made Nessa come too soon, with her little legs all tangled. And our mother never woke up. None of which would have ever happened if not for me.



GALINDA

But that was the milk flower’s fault, not yours. That may be your secret, Elphaba, but it doesn’t make it true. Look—it’s tomorrow! And Elphie—is it alright if I call you Elphie?



ELPHABA

Well, it’s a little perky.



GALINDA

And you can call me… Galinda. You see Elphie, now that we’re friends, I’ve decided to make you my new project.



ELPHABA

You really don’t have to do that.



GALINDA

I know. That’s what make me so nice!

                        (Sings)

WHENEVER I SEE SOMEONE

LESS FORTUNATE THAN I

AND LET’S FACE IT—WHO ISN’T

LESS FORTUNATE THAN I?

MY TENDER HEART

TENDS TO START TO BLEED

AND WHEN SOMEONE NEEDS A MAKEOVER

I SIMPLY HAVE TO TAKE OVER

I KNOW I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED

AND EVEN IN YOUR CASE

THO’ IT’S THE TOUGHEST CASE I’VE YET TO FACE

DON’T WORRY—I’M DETERMINED TO SUCCEED

FOLLOW MY LEAD

AND YES, INDEED

YOU WILL BE…



POPULAR!

YOU’RE GONNA BE POPULAR!

I’LL TEACH YOU THE PROPER PLOYS

WHEN YOU TALK TO BOYS

LITTLE WAYS TO FLIRT AND FLOUNCE

I’LL SHOW YOU WHAT SHOES TO WEAR

HOW TO FIX YOUR HAIR

EVERYTHING THAT REALLY COUNTS TO BE POPULAR!

I’LL HELP YOU BE POPULAR!

YOU’LL HANG WITH THE RIGHT COHORTS

YOU’LL BE GOOD AT SPORTS

KNOW THE SLANG YOU’VE GOT TO KNOW

SO LET’S START

‘CAUSE YOU’VE GOT AN AWF’LLY LONG WAY TO GO…



DON’T BE OFFENDED BY MY FRANK ANALYSIS

THINK OF IT AS PERSONALITY DIALYSIS

NOW THAT I’VE CHOSEN TO BECOME A PAL, A SIS—

TER AND ADVISER

THERE’S NOBODY WISER

NOT WHEN IT COMES TO POPULAR—

I KNOW ABOUT POPULAR

AND WITH AN ASSIST FROM ME

TO BE WHO YOU’LL BE

INSTEAD OF DREARY WHO-YOU-WERE… ARE…

THERE’S NOTHING THAT CAN STOP YOU

FROM BECOMING POPU—

LER… LAR…

LA LA LA LA

WE’RE GONNA MAKE

YOU POPULAR…



WHEN I SEE DEPRESSING CREATURES

WITH UNPREPOSSESSING FEATURES

I REMIND THEM ON THEIR OWN BEHALF

TO THINK OF

CELEBRATED HEADS OF STATE OR

‘SPECIALLY GREAT COMMUNICATORS

DID THEY HAVE BRAINS OR KNOWLEDGE?

DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH!



THEY WERE POPULAR! PLEASE—

IT’S ALL ABOUT POPULAR!

IT’S NOT ABOUT APTITUDE

IT’S THE WAY YOU’RE VIEWED

SO IT’S VERY SHREWD TO BE

VERY VERY POPULAR

LIKE ME!



ELPHABA

This is never going to work…



GALINDA

Elphie! You mustn’t think that way anymore! Your whole life is going to change! And all because of me! First: hair. See? This is how you toss your hair: Toss. Toss.



            (She demonstrates and ELPHABA tries.)



GALINDA

Well—you’ll practice! And now—



            (She picks up her new magic wand—it’s quite small, a training wand.)



GALINDA

I shall transform your simple “frock” into a magnificent ball gown. Ball gown.



            (She tries and fails, then examines the wand, puzzled.)



GALINDA

Is this thing on?



ELPHABA

You want me to try?



GALINDA

Oh, just wear the frock it’s pretty! Oh—and this!



            (GALINDA takes a flower from her own hair, pins in into ELPHABA’S.)



GALINDA

Pink goes good with green. Why, Miss Elphaba—look at you. You’re beautiful.



(She guides her friend to a mirror. ELPHABA stares at herself: For a moment it seems possible. And then—she forces herself to turn away.)



ELPHABA

I—I have to go—



GALINDA

You’re welcome!

                        (Sings)

AND THO’ YOU PROTEST

YOUR DISINTEREST

I KNOW CLANDESTINEDLY

YOU’RE GONNA GRIN AND BEAR IT

YOUR NEW-FOUND POPULARITY—

LA LA LA LA

YOU’LL BE POPULAR

JUST NOT QUITE AS POPULAR

AS ME!







SCENE 8



(Lecture Hall)



ELPHABA

Toss. Toss. What?!



FIYERO

Nothing. It’s just you’ve been Galindafied. “Toss. Toss.” You don’t need to do that you know.



DILLAMOND

Take your seats, class. Take your seats, please. I have something to say and very little time. My dear students, this is my last day here at Shiz. Animals are no longer permitted to teach.



ELPHABA

What?!



DILLAMOND

Please Miss Elphaba. I’d like to thank you all for sharing with me your enthusiasm, your essays, however feebly structured, and even on occasion your lunch.



(DOCTOR DILLAMOND’S lecture is interrupted by MADAME MORRIBLE and several OZIAN OFFICIALS.) 



MORRIBLE

Oh, Doctor, I am so terribly sorry.



ELPHABA

Madame, you can’t permit this!



DILLAMOND

Miss Elphaba, don’t worry about me. They can take away my job but I shall continue speaking out!



OZIAN OFFICIAL

Come on, goat.



DILLAMOND

You’re not being told the whole story! Remember that, class!



            (DOCTOR DILLAMOND is taken away.)



ELPHABA

Doctor Dillamond! Well, are we all just going to sit here in silence?!



MORRIBLE

Miss Elphaba, I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do.



ELPHABA

But, Madame—



MORRIBLE

Please, my dear, take your seat.



            (One OFFICIAL takes over the class.)



OZIAN OFFICIAL

Good afternoon, students!



MORRIBLE

Good afternoon!



STUDENTS

Good afternoon.



OZIAN OFFICIAL

More and more everyday with each tick of the Time Dragon Clock in every corner of our great Oz, one hears the silence of progress! For example, this is called a cage!



            (He reveals this devise to the STUDENTS. There is a small Lion Cub trapped inside.)



OZIAN OFFICIAL

Yes, you’ll be seeing more and more of them in the future. This remarkable innovation is actually for the Animal’s own good!



ELPHABA

If it’s for his own good, than why is he trembling?



OZIAN OFFICIAL

He’s excited to be here, that’s all! As I was saying, one of the benefits of caging a Lion Cub this young is the he will never in fact learn how to speak!



ELPHABA

Oh no!



OZIAN OFFICIAL

That’s right! Gather around!



ELPHABA

Can you imagine a world where Animals are kept in cages and they never speak?!



OZIAN OFFICIAL

He does seem a bit agitated by that is easily remedied!



ELPHABA

What are we going to do?!



FIYERO

We?



ELPHABA

Well somebody as to do something!!!



(ELPHABA becomes so distraught that she involuntarily casts a spell over the entire CLASS—except FIYERO.)



FIYERO

What’s happening?



ELPHABA

I don’t know! I got mad and then—



FIYERO

Don’t move. And don’t get mad at me.



            (FIYERO grabs the cage.)



FIYERO

Well? Are you coming?



            (The two head out to the forest, where they can set the Lion Club free.)































































            SCENE 9



ELPHABA

Careful! Don’t shake him!



FIYERO

I’m not!



ELPHABA

We can’t just let him loose anywhere you know! We’ve got to find someplace safe!



FIYERO

I realize that too! You think I’m really stupid don’t you?



ELPHABA

No, not really stupid.



FIYERO

Why is it that every time I see you you’re causing some sort of commotion?



ELPHABA

I don’t cause commotions, I am one!



FIYERO

That’s for sure.



ELPHABA

So you think I should just keep my mouth shut, is that what you’re saying?!



FIYERO

No! What I’m saying—



ELPHABA

Do you think I want to be this way? Do you think I want to care this much?



FIYERO

Look, all I meant was—



ELPHABA

Do you think I don’t know how easier my life would be if I didn’t?



FIYERO

Do you ever let anybody else talk?



ELPHABA

Oh, sorry. But can I say one more thing? You could have walked away back there.



FIYERO

So?



ELPHABA

So no matter how shallow and self-absorbed you pretend to be—



FIYERO

Excuse me, there’s no pretense here: I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow.



ELPHABA

No you’re not. Or you wouldn’t be so unhappy.



FIYERO

Fine if you don’t want my help—



ELPHABA

No, I do! His heart is pounding. I didn’t mean to frighten him.



FIYERO

What did you mean to do? And why was I the only one you didn’t do it to?



ELPHABA

You’re bleeding.



FIYERO

I am?



ELPHABA

It must have scratched you.



FIYERO

Yeah. Or maybe it scratched me or something. I better get to safety. I mean the cub!



ELPHABA

Of course!



FIYERO

Get the cub to safety.



(FIYERO leaves.)



ELPHABA

Fiyero!



(ELPHABA realizes that she could love FIYERO, yet she feels more alone than ever.)



ELPHABA

HANDS TOUCH, EYES MEET

SUDDEN SILENCE, SUDDEN HEAT

HEARTS LEAP IN A GIDDY WHIRL

HE COULD BE THAT BOY

I’M NOT THAT GIRL



DON’T DREAM TOO FAR

DON’T LOSE SIGHT OF WHO YOU ARE

DON’T REMEMBER THAT RUSH OF JOY

HE COULD BE THAT BOY

I’M NOT THAT GIRL



EV’RY SO OFTEN HE LONG TO STEAL

TO THE LAND OF WHAT-MIGHT-HAVE-BEEN

BUT THAT DOESN’T SOFTEN THE ACHE WE FEEL

WHEN REALITY SETS BACK IN



BLITHE SMILE, LITHE LIMB

SHE WHO’S WINSOME, SHE WINS HIM

GOLD HAIR WITH A GENTLE CURL

THAT’S THE GIRL HE CHOSE

AND HEAVEN KNOWS

I’M NOT THAT GIRL…



DON’T WISH, DON’T START

WISHING ONLY WOUNDS THE HEART

I WASN’T BORN FOR THE ROSE AND PEARL

THERE’S A GIRL I KNOW

HE LOVES HER SO

I’M NOT THAT GIRL…



(MADAME MORRIBLE comes upon ELPHABA, taking shelter from the rain, and approaches her excitedly.)



MORRIBLE

Miss Elphaba! There you are!



ELPHABA

Madame Morrible!



MORRIBLE

Oh, I have thrillifying news! I’ve finally heard back from the Wizard, and my dear—he wishes to meet you!



ELPHABA

He asked for me?! Personally?!



MORRIBLE

Yes! I know how devastrated you were the other day for our poor Doctor Dillamond but you see my dear, one door closes and another opens!



ELPHABA

I don’t know what to say! Madame, how can I ever thank you?



MORRIBLE

Careful my dear, you mustn’t get wet. Wait, I know.



            (She makes a sudden dramatic gesture, and the rain instantly stops.)



MORRIBLE

Oh, didn’t I ever mention? Weather is my specialty. Oz speed, my dear.

                        (Sings)

            NOW YOU’RE OFF TO MEET THE WIZARD

            MAKE ME PROUD!



ELPHABA

I will—I’ll try…

                        (Sings)

            AND THERE WE’LL FINALLY BE:

            THE WIZARD AND I…















































































            SCENE 10



          (GALINDA has accompanied ELPHABA to the train station to bid her goodbye.)



CONDUCTOR

All aboard!



NESSAROSE

Elphaba, I am so proud of you! I know father will be too. We’re all proud aren’t we?



ELPHABA

Will you be alright without me?



GALINDA

She’ll be fine. Bick will keep her company. Won’t you, Bick?



BOQ

It’s Boq! I can’t do this anymore!



            (BOQ runs out)



NESSAROSE

Boq!



GALINDA

Nessa, maybe he just isn’t the right one for you.



NESSAROSE

No! He’s the one. It’s me that’s not right. Don’t worry about me, Elphaba, I’ll be fine. Safe journey.



            (NESSAROSE wheels after BOQ)



ELPHABA

Nessa! Wait!



GALINDA

Elphie, let her go. She’ll have to manage without you. We all will.



            (All at once, GALINDA breaks into tears.)



ELPHABA

You’ll barely notice I’m gone. You have Fiyero. Where is he anyway? Not that I expected him to say goodbye to me. I mean, we barely know each other.



GALINDA

I don’t know him either. Not anymore. He’s distant and moodified. And he’s been thinking which really worries me. It all started the day Doctor Dillamond got fired. I never knew he cared so much about that old Goat. Oh, look there he is! He did come! Fiyero! Over here, dearest! 



FIYERO

Elphaba, I’m happy for you.



GALINDA

Yes, we are both so happy for you!



FIYERO

I’ve been thinking—



ELPHABA

Yes, I’ve heard.



FIYERO

About the Lion Cub and everything. I think about that day a lot.



ELPHABA

So do I.



GALINDA

Me too! I think about it constantly! Poor Doctor Dillamond! It makes one want to take a stand! In fact, I’ve been thinking about… about… changing my name!



FIYERO

Your name?



GALINDA

Why yes! Since Doctor Dillamond had his own way of pronouncing my name, in solidarity and to express my…um… outrage I will henceforward no longer be known as Galinda but as simply Glinda!



FIYERO

That’s very admirable of you, Glinda.



GLINDA

Fiyero…



FIYERO

Elphaba, good luck.



























            SCENE 11



GLINDA

Well, there! You see?!



ELPHABA

Oh, don’t cry, Galinda!



GLINDA

It’s Glinda now! Stupid idea, I don’t even know what made me say it!



ELPHABA

It doesn’t matter what your name is, everyone loves you.



GLINDA

I don’t care! I want him! I don’t even think he’s perfect anymore and I still want him! This must be what other people feel like. How do they bear it?!



ELPHABA

Come with me.



GLINDA

Where?



ELPHABA

To the Emerald City.



GLINDA

Really?



TOURISTS

            ONE SHORT DAY

IN THE EMERALD CITY



GLINDA

I’ve always wanted t see the Emerald City.



TOURISTS

            ONE SHORT DAY

IN THE EMERALD CITY





















            SCENE 12



          (The Emerald City)



TOURISTS

ONE SHORT DAY

IN THE EMERALD CITY

ONE SHORT DAY

FULL OF SO MUCH TO DO

EV’RY WAY

THAT YOU LOOK IN THIS CITY

THERE’S SOMETHING EXQUISITE

YOU’LL WANT TO VISIT

BEFORE THE DAY’S THROUGH!



ELPHABA

            THERE ARE BUILDINGS TALL AS QUOXWOOD TREES



GLINDA

            DRESS SALONS



ELPHABA

            AND LIBRARIES



GLINDA

PALACES!



ELPHABA

            MUSEUMS!



BOTH

            A HUNDRED STRONG…

            THERE ARE WONDERS LIKE I’VE NEVER SEEN



GLINDA

            IT’S ALL GRAND



ELPHABA

            AND IT’S ALL GREEN



BOTH

            I THINK WE’VE FOUND THE PLACE WHERE WE BELONG!

            I WANNA BE

            IN THIS HOI POLLOI



ELPHABA

            SO I’LL BE BACK FOR GOOD SOMEDAY



GLINDA

            TO MAKE MY LIFE AND MAKE MY WAY…



BOTH

            BUT FOR TODAY, WE’LL WANDER AND ENJOY…



ALL

            ONE SHORT DAY

            IN THE EMERALD CITY

            ONE SHORT DAY

            TO HAVE A LIFETIME OF FUN

            ONE SHORT DAY…



ELPHABA & GLINDA

            AND WE’RE WARNING THE CITY:

            NOW THAT WE’RE IN HERE

            YOU’LL KNOW WE’VE BEEN HERE

           

ALL

            BEFORE WE ARE DONE!



(They are in front of a Broadway-style marquee that reads Wiz-o-mania. TOURISTS pour into the theatre. GLINDA takes in the scene, enthralled.)



GLINDA

The night-life! The hustle and bustle! It’s all so… ozmopolitan! Elphie, come on—we’ll be late for Wizomania!



ELPHABA

I want to remember this moment. Always. Nobody’s staring. Nobody’s pointing. For the first time, I’m somewhere… where I belong.



GLINDA

You look positively—emerald!



            (They take each other’s hands and run into the theatre.)



WIZOMANIA CHORUS

WHO’S THE MAGE

WHOSE MAJOR ITINERARY

IS MAKNG ALL OZ MERRIER?

WHO’S THE SAGE

WHO SAGELY SAILED IN TO SAVE

OUR POSTERIORS?

WHOSE ENTHUSE FOR HOT AIR BALLOONING

HAS ALL OZ HONEYMOONING?

WOO-OO-OO…

WIZ-N’T HE WONDERFUL?

(OUR WONDERFUL WIZARD!)



AUDIENCE                                                                                            WIZOMANIA CHORUS

ONE SHORT DAY                                                                                          WHO’S THE MAGE

IN THE EMERALD                                                                        WHOSE MAJOR ITINERARY

CITY                                                                                            IS MAKING ALL OZ MERRIER

ONE SHORT DAY                                                                                 WHO’S THE SAGE WHO

TO HAVE A LIFETIME OF FUN                                               SAGELY SAILED IN TO SAVE

                                                                                                                       OUR POSTERIORS…



ALL

            WHAT A WAY

TO BE SEEING THE CITY…



ELPHABA & GLINDA

WHERE SO MANY ROAM TO

WE’LL CALL IT HOME TOO

AND THEN, JUST LIKE NOW

WE CAN SAY:

WE’RE JUST TWO FRIENDS…



ELPHABA

            TWO GOOD FRIENDS…



GLINDA

            TWO BEST FRIENDS…



ALL

            SHARING ONE WONDERFUL

            ONE SHORT…



GUARD

The Wizard will see you now!



ALL

            DAY!









































            SCENE 13



            (In the Wizard’s private chamber…)



OZ HEAD

I am Oz!



GLINDA

Elphie!



OZ HEAD

I am Oz, the great and terrible! Who are you and why do you seek me?!



GLINDA

Say something!



ELPHABA

I am Elphaba Thropp, Your Terribleness! And this is my best friend—



WIZARD’S VOICE

Oh, is that you Elphaba? I didn’t realize!



            (ELPHABA and GLINDA come face to face with the WIZARD OF OZ.)



WIZARD

I hope I didn’t startle ya! It’s so hard to make out people’s faces when I’m back there. So, let’s see, which is which? Elphaba! A pleasure, Elphaba! And you must be…



GLINDA

Glinda, the Ga is silent.



            (ELPHABA is observing the Oz Head.)



WIZARD

I know, it’s a bit much isn’t it? But people expect this sort of thing and you have to give people what they want.



ELPHABA

I’m so happy to meet you.



WIZARD

Well, that’s good—cuz that’s what I love best—making people happy.

                        (Sings)

            I AM A SENTIMENTAL MAN

WHO ALWAYS LONGED TO BE A FATHER

THAT’S WHY I DO THE BEST I CAN

TO TREAT EACH CITIZEN OF OZ AS SON—

OR DAUGHTER…

SO ELPHABA, I’D LIKE TO RAISE YOU HIGH

‘CUZ I THINK EV’RYONE DESERVES

THE CHANCE TO FLY

AND HELPING YOU WITH YOUR ASCENT AL

LOWS ME TO FEEL SO PARENTAL

FOR I AM A SENTIMENTAL MAN…



ELPHABA

Oh Your Ozness, I knew you would help! You see, we’re here not just for ourselves.



GLINDA

We’re not?



ELPHABA

No! We are here because something bad is happening to the Animals—



WIZARD

Please! I’m the Wizard of Oz! I already know why you’ve come.



ELPHABA & GLINDA

Oooooh!



WIZARD

I fully intend of granting your request. Of course, you must prove yourself first.



GLINDA

Of course! Prove yourself! Prove yourself!



ELPHABA

But how?



WIZARD

Madame, the book!



MORRIBLE

Right away, Your Ozness!



            (To the GIRLS’ amazement, MADAME MORRIBLE appears.)



GLINDA

Madame Morrible?!



WIZARD

I believe you’re acquainted with my new press secretary.



ELPHABA

Press secretary?!



MORRIBLE

Yes dearies, I have risen up in the world! You will find that the Wizard is a very generous man! If you do something for him he will do much for you!



ELPHABA

But what would you like me to do?



WIZARD

This is my monkey servant, Chistery. He watches the birds so longingly every moring.



MORRIBLE

So his Ozness was thinking perhaps a levitation spell.



            (She holds an ancient looking book out to ELPHABA.)



GLINDA

I don’t believe it. Is that… The Grimmerie!?



MORRIBLE

Yes. The Ancient Book of Thaumaturgy and Enchantments.



GLINDA

Can I touch it?



MORRIBLE

No.



ELPHABA

What funny writing.



MORRIBLE

It’s a lost language—the lost language of spells.



WIZARD

A kind of recipe book, for change.



MORRIBLE

Don’t be discouraged if you cannot decipherate it, dearie. I myself can only read a spell or two and that took years and years of constant study— 



ELPHABA

Ahben Tahkay…



MORRIBLE                                                                                                                   ELPHABA

Merciful Oz!                                                                                                            Ahben Tahkay…



WIZARD                                                                                                                        ELPHABA

Oh, Chistery! What an experience you’re about to have!                               Ahben Atum Ahben

                        (Sings)

            SINCE ONCE I HAD MY OWN DAY IN THE SKY          Takayah Entayah Ah Entayah

                                                                                                                                               Tifentah

            I SAY EVERYONE DESERVES THE CHANCE TO FLY!                 Ahben Tahkay Ah



            (CHISTERY starts twitching, in pain.)



ELPHABA

What is it? Is something wrong?



MORRIBLE

It’s just the transition, dearie!



ELPHABA

Chistery, are you alright?! Why can’t he answer me?!



            (CHISTERY sprouts wings.)



GLINDA

You did it! You actually did it!



ELPHABA

He’s in pain! Quick, tell me how to reverse it!



MORRIBLE

You can’t!



ELPHABA

What?!



MORRIBLE

You can’t reverse a spell! Spells are irreversible! I knew it! I knew she had the power! I told you!



ELPHABA

You planned all this?



MORRIBLE

For you too, dearie! You benefit too!



WIZARD

And this is only the beginning! Look!



            (He pulls a lever to reveal his caged pet monkeys, now all have wings.)



WIZARD

If this is how you do on your first time out skies the limit!



MORRIBLE

Such wingspan! Won’t they make perfect spies?



ELPHABA

Spies?



WIZARD

You’re right, that’s a harsh words. What about… scouts! That’s what they’ll be really. They’ll fly around Oz, reporting and subversive Animal activity.



ELPHABA

So it’s you. You’re behind it all.



WIZARD

Elphaba, when I first got here there was discourt and discontent, and where I come from everyone knows that the best way to bring folks together is to give them a really good enemy.



ELPHABA

You can’t read this book at all, can you? That’s why you need an enemy and spies and cages! You have no real power!



WIZARD

Exactly. And that’s why I need you. Don’t you see? The world’s your oyster now! You have so many opportunities ahead of you! You both do!



GLINDA

Oh thank you, Your Ozness!



WIZARD

            THE TWO OF YOU

            IT’S TIME I RAISED YOU HIGH

            YES!

            THE TIME HAD COME FOR YOU

TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO—



ELPHABA

No!!!



            (ELPHABA grabs The Grimmerie and runs from the room.)



MORRIBLE

Elphaba!



GLINDA

Elphie, wait! I’m sorry, Your Oznees. I’ll get her back. Elphie!



            (GLINDA goes after her.)



WIZARD

We’ve got to get her back! She’s knows too much!



MORRIBLE

Don’t worry, You Ozness! I’ll handle it!



            (MADAME MORRIBLE leaves.)



OZ HEAD

Guards! Guards!



            (The PALACE GUARDS enter.)



OZ HEAD

There’s a fugitive at arms in the palace! Find her! Capture her! Bring her to me!



GUARDS

Yes, Your Ozness!



            (They march out.)





























































































          SCENE 14



            (The girls have fled to the upmost turret of the Wizard’s Pakace.)



GLINDA

Elphie, wait! Where are you going?!



ELPHABA

Oh no! There are no more stairs!



GLINDA

Elphaba, listen to me!



ELPHABA

The guards are coming up! We have to barricade the door!



GLINDA

What?!



ELPHABA

I’ll use this!



            (ELPHABA blockades the door shut with an old broom.)



GLINDA

Why couldn’t you have just stayed calm, for once! Instead of flying off the handle!

                        (Sings)

            I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY

            I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY NOW

            I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY HOW YOU

            HURT YOUR CAUSE FOREVER

            I HOPE YOU THINK YOU’RE CLEVER



ELPHABA

            I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY

            I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY TOO

            I HOPE YOU’RE PROUD HOW YOU

            WOULD GROVEL IN SUBMISSION

            TO FEED YOUR OWN AMBITION



BOTH

            SO THOUGH I CAN’T IMAGINE HOW

            I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY RIGHT NOW…



MORRIBLE’S VOICE

Citizens of Oz, there is an enemy who must be found and captured! Believe nothing she says, she is evil! Responsible for the mutilation of these poor, innocent monkeys! 



GLINDA

Oh no.



MORRIBLE’S VOICE

Her green skin is but an outward manifestorium of her twisted nature! This distortion! This repulsion!! This Wicked Witch!!!



GLINDA

Don’t be afraid.



ELPHABA

I’m not. It’s the Wizard who should be afraid… of me!



GLINDA

Elphie, listen to me. Just say you’re sorry. Before it’s too late…

                        (Sings)

            YOU CAN STILL BE WITH THE WIZARD

            WHAT YOU’VE WORKED AND WAITED FOR

            YOU CAN HAVE ALL YOU’VE EVER WANTED…



ELPHABA

I know—

                        (Sings)

BUT I DON’T WANT I—

NO—I CAN’T WANT IT

ANYMORE…



SOMETHING HAS CHANGED WITHIN ME

SOMETHING IS NOT THE SAME

I’M THROUGH WITH PLAYIING BY THE RULES

OF SOMEONE ELSE’S GAME

TOO LATE FOR SECOND GUESSING

TOO LATE TO GO BACK TO SLEEP

IT’S TIME TO TRUST MY INSTINCTS

CLOSE MY EYES AND LEAP



IT’S TIME TO TRY

DEFYING GRAVITY

I THINK I’LL TRY

DEFYING GRAVITY

AND YOU CAN’T PULL ME DOWN…



GLINDA

            CAN’T I MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND, YOU’RE

            HAVING DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR…?



ELPHABA

I’M THROUGH ACCEPTING LIMITS

‘CAUSE SOMEONE SAYS THEY’RE SO

SOME THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE

BUT TIL I TRY, I’LL NEVER KNOW

TOO LONG I’VE BEEN AFRAID OF

LOSING LOVE I GUESS I’VE LOST

WELL, IF THAT’S LOVE

IT COMES AT MUCH TOO HIGH A COST

I’D SOONER BUY

DEFYING GRAVITY

KISS ME GOODBYE

I’M DEFYING GRAVITY

AND YOU CAN’T PULL ME DOWN…



GUARDS’ VOICE

Open this door! In the name of His Supreme Ozness!



GLINDA                                                                                                                         ELPHABA

What are you doing?!                                                                                                             Ah May

That’s what started all of this in the first place!                                                                Ah Tay Ah

That hideous levitation spell!                                                                                           Tum Ditum                                   

Stop!!!



GLINDA

Well? Where are your wings? Maybe you’re not as powerful as you think you are.



            (The old broom levitates over to ELPHABA.)



GLINDA

Sweet Oz!



ELPHABA

I told you, Glinda! Didn’t I tell you!



GUARDS’ VOICE

Bash it in! Fetch the battering ramikin!



ELPHABA

Quick get on!



GLINDA

What?!



ELPHABA

Come with me. Think of what we can do… together.

                        (Sings)

UNLIMITED

TOGETHER WE’RE UNLIMITED

TOGETHER WE’LL BE THE GREATEST TEAM

THERE’S EVER BEEN

GLINDA—

DREAMS THE WAY WE PLANNED ‘EM…



GLINDA

            IF WE WORK IN TANDEM…



BOTH

            THERE’S NO FIGHT WE CANNOT WIN

            JUST YOU AND I

            DEFYIING GRAVITY

            WITH YOU AND I

            DEFYING GRAVITY



ELPHABA

            THEY’LL NEVER BRING US DOWN…



Well? Are you coming?



(The answer is no, but GLINDA can’t bring herself to say it. Instead, she gets an old blanket from a shelf and wrps it around ELPHABA’S shoulders.)



GLINDA

Elphie, you’re trembling. Here… put this around you.

                        (Sings)

            I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY

            NOW THAT YOU’RE CHOOSING THIS…



ELPHABA

            YOU TOO—

            I HOPE IT BRINGS YOU BLISS



BOTH

            I REALLY HOPE YOU GET IT

            AND YOU DON’T LIVE TO REGRET IT

            I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY IN THE END

            I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY, MY FRIEND…



            (The PALACE GUARDS burst in, their muskets drawn.)



GUARD

There she is! Don’t let her get away!



GLINDA

Leave me alone, you hear! Let go of me!



ELPHABA

It’s not her! She has nothing to do with it! I’m the one you want! It’s me!



GLINDA

Elphie!



ELPHABA

It’s meee!



            (ELPHABA rides her enchanted broom skyward.)



ELPHABA

SO IF YOU CARE TO FIND ME

LOOK TO THE WESTERN SKY

AS SOMEONE TOLD ME LATELY:

“EV’RYONE DESERVES THE CHANCE TO FLY”

AND IF I’M FLYING SOLO

AT LEAST I’M FLYING FREE

TO THOSE WHO’D GROUND ME

TAKE A MESSAGE BACK FROM ME:

TELL THEM HOW I

AM DEFYING GRAVITY

I’M FLYING HIGH

DEFYING GRAVITY

AND SOON I’LL MATCH THEM IN RENOWN

AND NOBODY IN ALL OF OZ

NO WIZARD THAT THERE IS OR WAS

IS EVER GONNA BRING ME DOWN!



GLINDA

            I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY!



CITIZENS OF OZ

            LOOK AT HER, SHE’S WICKED!

            GET HER!



ELPHABA

            BRING ME DOWN!



CITIZENS OF OZ

            NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED

            SO WE’VE GOT TO BRING HER…



ELPHABA

            AHHHH!



CITIZENS OF OZ

            DOWN!



            END ACT 1

2 comments:

  1. When two or more people start to sing/ talk at the same time the writing gets messed up. Sory :/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much. I really love this show. So much so that I've seen it 4 times! Thanks again

    ReplyDelete