ACT I, SCENE 1
(We see a gigantic peaked black hat being used as a symbol to celebrate the Wicked Witch’s demise. Suddenly CITIZENS OF OZ spill out, cheering and celebrating. The hat disappears and we are outside the Wizard’s Palace, in the Emerald City
ALL
GOOD NEWS!
SHE’S DEAD!
THE WITCH OF THE WEST IS DEAD!
THE WICKEDEST WITCH THERE EVER WAS
THE ENEMY OF ALL US
IS DEAD!
GOOD NEWS!
GOOD NEWS!
SOMEONE IN THE CROWD
Look! It’s Glinda!
(GLINDA, resplendent and beautiful in her gown and tiara, descends from the sky on a mechanical device that spews soap bubbles as the CELEBRANTS point and cheer.)
VARIOUS FANATICS
Is it really her? It is, it’s her! Glinda! We love yeeew, Glindaaaaa!
GLINDA
It’s good to see me, isn’t it?
FANATICS
(Shrieks)
Yes!
GLINDA
No need to respond—that was rhetorical.
(She smiles down on them)
Fellow Ozians—
(Sings)
LET US BE GLAD
LET US BE GRATEFUL
LET US
THE WICKED WORKINGS OF YOU-KNOW-WHO
ISN’T IT NICE TO KNOW
THAT GOOD WILL CONQUER EVIL?
THE TRUTH WE ALL BELIEVE’LL BY AND BY
OUTLIVE A LIE
FOR YOU AND—
SOMEONE IN THE CROWD
Glinda! Exactly how dead is she?
GLINDA
Because there has been so much rumor and speculation—innuendo, outuendo—let me set the record straight: According to the Time Dragon Clock, The Melting occurred at the thirteenth hour, the direct result of a bucket of water thrown by a female child. Yes, the Wicked Witch of the West is dead.
SOMEONE IN THE CROWD
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED
ANOTHER PERSON
NO ONE CRIES: “THEY WON’T RETURN!”
ALL
NO ONE LAYS A LILY ON THEIR GRAVE
MAN
THE GOOD MAN SCORNS THE WICKED!
WOMEN
THROUGH THEIR LIVES, OUR CHILDREN LEARN:
ALL
WHAT WE MISS
WHEN WE MISBEHAVE…
GLINDA
AND GOODNESS KNOWS
THE WICKED’S LIVES ARE LONELY
GOODNESS KNOWS
THE WICKED DIE ALONE
IT JUST SHOWS WHEN YOU’RE WICKED
YOU’RE LEFT ONLY
ON YOUR OWN…
ALL
YES, GOODNESS KNOWS
THE WICKED’S LIVES ARE LONELY
GOODNESS KNOWS
THE WICKED CRY ALONE
NOTHING GROWS FOR THE WICKED
THEY REAP ONLY
WHAT THEY’VE SOWN…
GIRL IN THE CROWD
Glinda, why does Wickedness happen?
GLINDA
That’s a good question. One that many people find confusifying: Are people born Wicked? Or do they have Wickedness thrust upon them? After all, she had a childhood. She had a father… who just happened to be the Governor of Munchkinland…
(From out of the past appears a somber-looking man: the WITCH’S FATHER)
WITCH’S FATHER
I’m off to the Assembly, dear!
GLINDA
And she had a mother. As so many do…
(A hauntingly beautiful woman rushes to the SOMBER MAN’S side: the WITCH’S MOTHER)
WITCH’S FATHER
OH… HOW I HATE TO GO AND LEAVE YOU LONELY
WITCH’S MOTHER
THAT’S ALRIGHT—IT’S ONLY JUST ONE NIGHT
WITCH’S FATHER
BUT KNOW THAT YOU’RE HERE IN MY HEART
WHILE I’M OUT OF YOUR SIGHT…
(The FATHER leaves, and instantly, the MOTHER wipes his kiss from her cheek. She opens a door…)
GLINDA
And like every family—they had their secrets.
(And her LOVER, a mysterious man whose face remains in the shadows, appears.)
LOVER
HAVE ANOTHER DRINK, MY DARK-EYED BEAUTY
I’VE GOT ONE MORE NIGHT LEFT HERE IN TOWN
SO HAVE ANOTHER DRINK OF GREEN ELIXIR
AND WE’LL HAVE OURSELVES A LITTLE MIXER
HAVE ANOTHER LITTLE SWALLOW, LITTLE LADY,
AND FOLLOW ME DOWN…
(THEY kiss; sink to the floor. The LOVER disappears. The MOTHER struggles back to her feet, now hugely pregnant—)
GLINDA
But from the moment she was born she was… well, different.
(Suddenly the WITCH’S MOTHER clutches herself, in pain…)
WITCH’S MOTHER
Agghhh!!
(The WITCH’S FATHER rushes in, along with a MIDWIFE, who happens to be an Antelope. THEY hold her—)
MIDWIFE
It’s coming…
WITCH’S FATHER
Now?
MIDWIFE
The baby’s coming…
WITCH’S FATHER
And how!
MIDWIFE
I SEE A NOSE…
WITCH’S FATHER
I SEE A CURL…
MIDWIFE & WITCH’S FATHER
IT’S A HEALTHY PERFECT LOVELY LITTLE…
MIDWIFE
Ohhhhh!
WITCH’S FATHER
Sweet Oz!
WITCH’S MOTHER
What is it? What’s wrong?
MIDWIFE
HOW CAN IT BE?
WITCH’S FATHER
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
MIDWIFE
IT’S ATROCIOUS!
WITCH’S FATHER
IT’S OBSCENE!
MIDWIFE & WITCH’S FATHER
LIKE A FROGGY, FERNY CABBAGE
THE BABY IS UNNATURALLY—
ALL
GREEN!!
WITCH’S FATHER
Take it away. Take it away…!
GLINDA
So you see—it couldn’t have been easy!
CROWD
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED
NOW AT LAST, SHE’S DEAD AND GONE
NOW AT LAST, THERE’S JOY THROUGHOUT THE LAND
AND GOODNESS KNOWS
GLINDA
GOODNESS KNOWS…
CROWD
WE KNOW WHAT GOODNESS IS
GLINDA
HER LIFE WAS LONLEY…
CROWD
GOODNESS KNOWS…
GLINDA
GOODNESS KNOWS…
CROWD
THE WICKED DIE ALONE…
GLINDA
SHE DIED ALONE…
CROWD
WOE TO THOSE
WHO SPURN WHAT GOODNESS IS
THEY ARE SHOWN
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED…
GLINDA
GOOD NEWS!
CROWD
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED!
GLINDA
GOOD NEWS!
CROWD
NO ONE MOURNS THE
WICKED!
WICKED!
CROWD
WICKED!
GLINDA
Well, this has been fun. But as you can imagine, I have much to attend to, what with the Wizard’s unexpected departure. And so, if there are no further questions—
(Suddenly, SOMEONE IN THE CROWD interrupts her.)
PERSON IN THE CROWD
Glinda! Is it true—you were her friend?!
(The CROWD gasps in disbelief. GLINDA freezes, completely thrown.)
GLINDA
Uhm… Well, I… I… Yes.
(The CROWD gasps)
GLINDA
Well, it depends on what you mean by “friend”. I did know her. That is, our paths did cross. At school… but you must understand it was along time ago… and we were both very young…
(And once again, the past comes alive. For GLINDA suddenly sees—her friend ELPHABA, just as she was on the day the GALINDA (as she was known then) first laid eyes on her, young, hopeful, and … green.)
SCENE 2
(In a parlor at Shiz University
STUDENTS
O HALLOWED HALLS AND VINE-DRAPPED WALLS…
THE PROUDLIEST SIGHT THERE IS
WHEN GREY AND SERE OUR HAIR HATH TURNED
WE SHALL STILL REVERE THE LESSONS LEARNED
IN OUR DAYS AT DEAR OLD SHIZ
OUR DAYS AT DEAR OLD…
(GALINDA is the last to arrive, perched on an enormous stack of luggage.)
GALINDA
OH-OH-OH-OH-OLD…
STUDENTS & GALINDA
DEAR OLD SHIZ-ZZZZ…
(GALINDA and all the other STUDENTS rudely gape at ELPHABA.)
ELPHABA
What? What are you all looking at? Oh—do I have something in my teeth? Alright, fine—we might as well get this over with: No, I’m not seasick; yes, I’ve always been green; no, I didn’t eat grass as a child…
(The WITCH’S FATHER enters wheeling in NESSAROSE)
WITCH’S FATHER
Elphaba!
ELPHABA
This is my younger sister, Nessarose! As you can see she’s a perfectly normal color!
WITCH’S FATHER
Elphaba! Stop making a spectacle of yourself. Remember, I’m only sending you to this school for one reason.
ELPHABA
I know: to look after Nessa.
WITCH’S FATHER
My precious little girl: a parting gift.
NESSAROSE
Father… Jeweled Shoes?!
WITCH’S FATHER
As befits the future Governor of Munchkinland. Elphaba, take care of your sister. And try not to
talk so much.
(The WITCH’S FATHER exits.)
NESSAROSE
Elphaba…
ELPHABA
Well, what could he get me? I clash with everything!
(MADAME MORRIBLE, the school’s headmistress, enters.)
MORRIBLE
Welcome! Welcome, new students! I am Madame Morrible, head mistress here at Shiz University
(MORRIBLE sees ELPHABA and screams.)
ELPHABA
I’m the other daughter, Elphaba. I’m beautifully tragic.
MORRIBLE
I see, well I’m sure you’re very bright!
GALINDA
Bright?! She’s phosphorescent!
(The STUDENTS laugh)
MORRIBLE
Now, regarding room assignments.
(ELPHABA and GALINDA raise their hands)
MORRIBLE
Is this regarding room assignments?
GALINDA
No, but thank you for asking, Madame Morrible, I’ve already been assigned a private suite. But you all can come visit me whenever you want!
PFANNEE
How good of you!
SHENSHEN
You are so good!
GALINDA
No I’m not!
PFANNEE & SHENSHEN
Yes you are!
GALINDA
Now stop it!
MORRIBLE
Do you have a question?
GALINDA
Oh yes—you see, I am Galinda Upland, of the Upper Uplands? I’ve applied to your sorcery seminar. Perhaps you recall my entrance essay—“Magic Wands: Need They Have a Point?”
MORRIBLE
Yes, however, I do not teach my seminar every semester, of course if someone special were to come along—
GALINDA
Well, exactly!
ELPHABA
Madame Morrible, we have not yet received our room assignments.
MORRIBLE
The Governor made his concerns for you sister’s wellbeing quite apparent. She will share my compartment, where I can assist her as needed.
ELPHABA
But I’ve always looked after my sister!
NESSAROSE
Elphaba!
MORRIBLE
He never mentioned you. Just a slight gulch, no need to fret, we will find some place to put you.
ELPHABA
But, Madame…
GALINDA
You know, I don’t even think she read my essay!
BOQ
That is so unfair! You should say something!
GALINDA
Should I?
MORRIBLE
Attention! Which of you young ladies will volunteer to share with Miss Elphaba?
GALINDA
Madame Morrible—
MORRIBLE
Oh, thank you dear! That is very good of you!
GALINDA
What?
MORRIBLE
Yes, now you see Miss Elphaba, you can room with Miss Galinda! To your rooms, young ladies!
(MADAME MORRIBLE starts to wheel NESSAROSE away.)
ELPHABA
No, wait!
NESSAROSE
Elphaba, please, I’ll be alright!
ELPHABA
But I promised father!
MORRIBLE
Young gentlemen, to your rooms!
ELPHABA
Let her go!!!
(ELPHABA loses control and makes something magical occur. NESSAROSE is mortified.)
MORRIBLE
How did you do that?
GALINDA
How did she do that?
NESSAROSE
Elphaba, you promised things would be different here!
MORRIBLE
You mean this has happened before?
ELPHABA
Well, something just comes over me sometimes, it’s something I can’t describe. I’ll try to control myself. I am so sorry, Nessa.
MORRIBLE
What?! Never apologize for talent! Talent is a gift! And that is my special talent, encouraging talent! Have you ever considered a career in sorcery?
ELPHABA
Not really…
MORRIBLE
I shall tutor you privately—and take no other students!
GALINDA
What?!
MORRIBLE
MANY YEARS I HAVE WAITED
FOR A GIEFT LIKE YOURS TO APPEAR
WHY, I PREDICT THE WIZARD COULD MAKE YOU HIS
MAGIC GRAND VIZIER!
ELPHABA
The Wizard!?
MORRIBLE
MY DEAR, MY DEAR
I’LL WRITE AT ONCE TO THE WIZARD—
TELL HIM OF YOU IN ADVANCE
WITH A TALENT LIKE YOURS, DEAR
THERE IS A DEFIN-ISH CHANCE
IF YOU WORK AS YOU SHOULD—
YOU’LL BE MAKING GOOD…
GALINDA
Now, Madame—
MORRIBLE
Not now, dear. Shoo! Shoo, shoo, shoo!
(MADAME MORRIBLE and the CROWD disperse)
GALINDA
Something’s wrong. I didn’t get my way. I need to go lie down!
(ELPHABA is left alone, dazed but thrilled.)
ELPHABA
DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?
HAVE I ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD?
THIS WEIRD QUIRK I'VE TRIED
HAVE I ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD?
THIS WEIRD QUIRK I'VE TRIED
TO SURPRESS OR HIDE
IS A TALENT THAT
IS A TALENT THAT
COULD HELP ME MEET THE WIZARD
IF I MAKE GOOD
SO I'LL MAKE GOOD…
IF I MAKE GOOD
SO I'LL MAKE GOOD…
WHEN I MEET THE WIZARD,
ONCE I PROVE MY WORTH,
AND THEN I MEET THE WIZARD,
WHAT I'VE WAITED FOR SINCE—SINCE BIRTH!
AND WITH ALL HIS WIZARD WISDOM
BY MY LOOKS HE WON'T BE BLINDED
DO YOU THINK THE WIZARD IS DUMB?
OR LIKE MUNCHKINS, SO SMALL-MINDED?
NO! HE'LL SAY TO ME:
"I SEE WHO YOU TRULY ARE,
A GIRL ON WHOM I CAN RELY!"
AND THAT'S HOW WE'LL BEGIN
THE WIZARD AND I…
A GIRL ON WHOM I CAN RELY!"
AND THAT'S HOW WE'LL BEGIN
THE WIZARD AND I…
ONCE I'M WITH THE WIZARD,
MY WHOLE LIFE WILL CHANGE
'CUZ ONCE YOU'RE WITH THE WIZARD
NO ONE THINKS YOU'RE STRANGE
NO FATHER IS NOT PROUD OF YOU
NO SISTER ACTS ASHAMED
AND ALL OF OZ HAS TO LOVE YOU
WHEN BY THE WIZARD, YOU'RE ACLAIMED
AND THIS GIFT—OR THIS CURSE—
I HAVE INSIDE
MAYBE AT LAST, I'LL KNOW WHY
WHEN WE ARE HAND IN HAND—
THE WIZARD AND I!
AND ONE DAY, HE'LL SAY TO ME: "ELPHABA,
A GIRL WHO IS SO SUPERIOR,
SHOULDN'T A GIRL WHO'S SO GOOD INSIDE
HAVE A MATCHING EXTERIOR?
AND SINCE FOLKS HERE TO AN OBSURED DEGREE
SEEM FIXATED ON YOUR VERDEGRIS
WOULD IT BE ALRIGHT BY YOU
IF I DE-GREENIFY YOU?"
AND THOUGH OF COURSE THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT TO ME
"ALL RIGHT, WHY NOT?" I'LL REPLY
OH, WHAT A PAIR WE'LL BE
THE WIZARD AND I…
YES, WHAT A PAIR WE'LL BE
THE WIZARD AND...
UNLIMITED!
MY FUTURE IS UNLIMITED
AND I'VE JUST HAD A VISION
AND I'VE JUST HAD A VISION
ALMOST LIKE A PROPHECY
I KNOW—IT SOUNDS TRULY CRAZY
AND TRUE, THE VISION'S HAZY
BUT I SWEAR, SOME DAY THERE'LL BE
A CELEBRATION THROUGHOUT OZ
THAT'S ALL TO DO WITH ME!
AND I'LL STAND THERE WITH THE WIZARD
FEELING THINGS I'VE NEVER FELT
AND THOUGH I'D NEVER SHOW IT
I'LL BE SO HAPPY, I COULD MELT!
AND SO IT WILL BE
I KNOW—IT SOUNDS TRULY CRAZY
AND TRUE, THE VISION'S HAZY
BUT I SWEAR, SOME DAY THERE'LL BE
A CELEBRATION THROUGHOUT OZ
THAT'S ALL TO DO WITH ME!
AND I'LL STAND THERE WITH THE WIZARD
FEELING THINGS I'VE NEVER FELT
AND THOUGH I'D NEVER SHOW IT
I'LL BE SO HAPPY, I COULD MELT!
AND SO IT WILL BE
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
AND I'LL WANT NOTHING ELSE TILL I DIE
HELD IN SUCH HIGH ESTEEM!
WHEN PEOPLE SEE ME THEY WILL SCREAM
FOR HALF OF OZ'S FAVORITE TEAM:
THE WIZARD
AND I!
AND I'LL WANT NOTHING ELSE TILL I DIE
HELD IN SUCH HIGH ESTEEM!
WHEN PEOPLE SEE ME THEY WILL SCREAM
FOR HALF OF OZ'S FAVORITE TEAM:
THE WIZARD
AND I!
SCENE 3
(GALINDA and ELPHABA are in their dormitory room, both dutifully writing home.)
GALINDA
Dearest darlingest Momsie and Popsicle…
ELPHABA
My dear Father…
BOTH
THERE’S BEEN SOME CONFUSION
OVER ROOMING HERE AT SHIZ…
ELPHABA
BUT OF COURSE, I’LL CARE FOR NESSA…
GALINDA
BUT OF COURSE, I’LL RISE ABOVE IT…
BOTH
FOR I KNOW THAT’S HOW YOU’D WANT ME TO RESPOND
YES, THERE’S BEEN SOME CONFUSSION
FOR YOU SEE, MY ROOMMATE IS…
GALINDA
UNUSUALLY AND EXCEEDINGLY PECULIAR
AND ALTOGETHER QUITE IMPOSSIBLE TO DESCRIBE…
ELPHABA
BLONDE.
GALINDA
WHAT IS THIS FEELING
SO SUDDEN AND NEW?
ELPHABA
I FELT THE MOMENT
I LAID EYES ON YOU
GALINDA
MY PULSE IS RUSHING…
ELPHABA
MY HEAD IS REELING…
GALINDA
MY FACE IS FLUSHING …
BOTH
WHAT IS THIS FEELING?
FERVID AS A FLAME
DOES IT HAVE A NAME
YES!:
LOATHING
UNADULTERATED LOATHING…
GALINDA
FOR YOUR FACE…
ELPHABA
YOUR VOICE…
GALINDA
YOUR CLOTHING…
BOTH
LET’S JUST SAY—I LOATHE IT ALL!
EV’RY LITTLE TRAIT, HOWEVER SMALL
MAKES MY VERY FLESH BEGIN TO CRAWL
WITH SIMPLE UTTER LOATHING
THERE’S A STRANGE EXHILARATION
IN SUCH TOTAL DETESTAION
IT’S SO PURE! SO STRONG!
THOUGH I DO ADMIT IT CAME ON FAST
STILL I DO BELIEVE THAT IT CAN LAST
AND I WILL BE LOATHING
LOATHING YOU
MY WHOLE LIFE LONG!
STUDENTS
DEAR GALINDA, YOU ARE JUST TOO GOOD!
HOW DO YOU STAND IT? I DON’T THINK I COULD!
SHE’S A TERROR! SHE’S A TARTAR!
WE DON’T MEAN TO SHOW A BIAS
BUT GALINDA YOU’RE A MARTYR!
GALINDA
WELL… THESE THINGS ARE SENT TO TRY US!
STUDENTS
POOR GALINDA, FORCED TO RESIDE
WITH SOMEONE SO DISGUSTICIFIED
WE JUST WANT TO TELL YOU:
WE’RE ALL ON YOUR SIDE!
WE SHARE YOUR…
GALINDA & ELPHABA STUDENTS
WHAT IS THIS FEELING LOATHING
SO SUDDEN AND NEW? UNADULTERATED LOATHING
I FELT THE MOMENT FOR HER FACE, HER VOICE
I LAID EYES ON YOU HER CLOTHING
MY PULSE IS RUSHING LET’S JUST SAY:
MY HEAD IS REELING WE LOATHE IT ALL!
OH, WHAT IS THIS FEELING? EV’RY LITTLE TRAIT
HOWEVER SMALL
DOES IT HAVE A NAME? MAKES OUR VERY FLESH
YES… BEGIN TO CRAWL…
AHHH… AHHH…
ALL
LOATHING!
GALINDA & ELPHABA STUDENTS
THERE’S A STRANGE EXHILARATION LOATHING
IN SUCH TOTAL DETESTATION LOATHING
SO PURE, SO STRONG!
STUDENTS
SO STRONG!
GALINDA & ELPHABA
THOUGH I DO ADMIT IT CAME ON FAST
STILL I DO ADMIT THAT IT CAN LAST
GALINDA & ELPHABA STUDENTS
AND I WILL BE LOATHING LOATHING
FOR FOREVER LOATHING LOATHING
TRULY, DEEPLY LOATHING YOU LOATHING YOU
FOR MY WHOLE LIFE LONG! LOATHING, UNADULTER-
ATED LOATHING
ELPHABA
Boo!
GALINDA
Ahhh!
(ELPHABA laughs)
SCENE 4
(In a lecture hall, the STUDENTS take their seats for DOCTOR DILLAMOND’S class. DOCTOR DILLAMOND is a Goat.)
DILLAMOND
Settle down, students! Settle down now! I have read your most recent essays and I am amazed to report some progress. Although some of us still tend to favor form over content. Miss Glinda.
GALINDA
It’s Galinda with a Ga.
DILLAMOND
Yes, of course. Miss Glinda.
GALINDA
I really don’t see what the problem is, every other professor seems to able to pronounce my name.
ELPHABA
Maybe perfecting the pronunciation of your precious name is not the sole focus of Doctor Dillamond’s life. And maybe he’s not like every other professor. Maybe some of us are different!
GALINDA
Well, it seems the artichoke is steamed!
(The STUDENTS laugh)
DILLAMOND
Class! Class! Miss Elphaba has a point. Doubtless you’ve noticed I am the sole Animal on the faculty. The Token Goat as it were. But it wasn’t always this way. My dear students, how I wish you could have known this place as it once was. When one could walk these halls and hear an Antelope explicating a sonnet, a Snow Leopard solving a equation, a Wildebeest waxing philosophic! Can you see, dear students, what is being lost? How our dear Oz is becoming less and less… well, colorful. Now, who can tell me what set this into motion?
ELPHABA
From what I read it began with the Great Drought.
DILLAMOND
Precisely! Food grew scarce, people grew hungrier and angrier and the question became “whom can we blame?” Can anyone tell me what is meant by the term “Scapegoat”? Someone besides Miss Elphaba. Yes, Miss Glinda.
GALINDA
It’s Galinda with a Ga.
DILLAMOND
Well, perhaps these question that I’ve prepared—
(As he turns his chalkboard around to pose the question, he sees that, across the board, someone has painted: “Animals should be seen and not heard.” DILLAMOND is shocked.)
DILLAMOND
Who is responsible for this? I’m waiting for an answer. Very well, that will be all for today. You heard me, class dismissed!
(Only ELPHABA lingers.)
ELPHABA
You go ahead, Nessa. Animals should be seen and not heard?!
DILLAMOND
Oh, Miss Elphaba, don’t worry about me. Go and join your friend.
ELPHABA
That’s alright, I have no friends. Would you like to share my lunch?
DILLAMOND
Thank you. How kind. I’ve seemed to have lost my appetite.
ELPHABA
You shouldn’t let ignorant statements like that bother you. I mean, I always do, but you shouldn’t.
DILLAMOND
Oh, Miss Elphaba—if only it were just a matter of words on a chalkboard! But the things one hears these days. Dreadful things…
(Sings)
I’VE HEARD OF AN OX
A PROFESSOR FROM QUOX
NO LONGER PERMITTED TO TEACH
WHO HAS LOST ALL POWERS OF SPEECH…
ELPHABA
What?
DILLAMOND
AND AN OWL IN MUNCHKIN ROCK
A VICAR WITH A THRIVING FLOCK
FOBIDDEN TO PREACH
NOW HE ONLY CAN SCREECH
ONLY RUMORS—BUT STILL—
ENOUGH TO GIVE PAUSE
TO ANYONE WITH PAWS
SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING IN OZ…
ELPHABA
SOMETHING BAD? HAPPENING IN OZ…?
DILLAMOND
UNDER THE SURFACE
BEHIND THE SCENES
SOMETHING BAAAAAAD…
(They’re both startled by an unfamiliar sound. It’s coming from DOCTOR DILLAMOND himself—a kind of belting. DILLAMOND hastily covers his mouth, clears his throat.)
DILLAMOND
BAD.
ELPHABA
Doctor Dillamond, are you alright? Shall I fetch you a glass of water?
DILLAMOND
No, I don’t know what came over me.
ELPHABA
So you’re saying that there are Animals that have somehow forgotten how to speak? How is that possible?
DILLAMOND
Well with so much pressure not to. If you make it discouraging enough you can keep anyone silent. But I for one will never…
(MADAME MORRIBLE enters.)
DILLAMOND
Oh, Madame Morrible!
MORRIBLE
I heard there was some sort of disturberance in class. Are you alright, Doctor? And Miss Elphaba, you’re still here? I thought you’d be on your way to my seminar by now.
ELPHABA
Yes, Madame, I would be but…
MORRIBLE
But? I do hope I haven’t misplaced my trust in you. Magic is a demanderating mistress, and if one’s ambition is to meet the Wizard. I’m sure Doctor Dillamond sees my point.
(MADAME MORRIBLE exits.)
ELPHABA
I better go. Doctor Dillamond, if something bad is happening to the Animals, someone’s got to tell the Wizard! He’ll make it right! That’s why we have a Wizard—
(Sings)
SO NOTHING BAD…
DILLAMOND
I hope you’re right—
BOTH
NOTHING ALL THAT BAD…
DILLAMOND
NOTHING TRULY BAAAAAAAAD…
SORRY—BAD…
(Unsettled, DOCTOR DILLAMOND leaves the classroom. ELPHABA watches him go…)
ELPHABA
IT COULDN’T HAPPEN HERE
IN OZ…
SCENE 5
(In the courtyard, a new student arrives.)
ELPHABA
Hey!
AVARIC
Be quiet, miss, you’ll disturb him!
ELPHABA
I certainly will! Hey, you! Wake up!
AVARIC
Young lady, do you realize who this is?!
ELPHABA
I don’t care who he is! Your cart nearly knocked me over and you’re sleeping!
FIYERO
Of course, it’s daytime. Well, see you soon, Avaric. I’m sure I won’t last any longer at this school then I did at any of the others.
ELPHABA
Is this really how you go through life? Nearly knocking people over and not even noticing them?!
FIYERO
Well maybe the driver saw seen and thought it meant go.
BOQ
Miss Galinda! I know I’m just a mere Munchkin. But even a Munchkin has feelings! And I have tried to tell you of mine for you but sometimes it’s like you don’t even know who I am.
GALINDA
That’s not true, Bick.
BOQ
Boq.
GALINDA
Bick, do you realize who that is?!
BOQ
You’re touching me!
GALINDA
That is Fiyero Tigelaar! He is that Winkie Prince who’s reputation is so scandalacious!
(To FIYERO)
Were you looking for something or someone?
FIYERO
Yes, some sort of history class somewhere over there.
BOQ
That is the history building right down there!
GALINDA
That class just ended.
FIYERO
Perfect timing. So what does one do you fun around here?
GALINDA
Nothing, until now.
BOQ
We’ve been studying.
FIYERO
I see the responsibility to corrupt my fellow students falls to me. Fortunately I am up to the task.
(Sings)
THE TROUBLE WITH SCHOOLS IS
THEY ALWAYS TRY TO TEACH THE WRONG LESSON
BELIEVE ME, I’VE BEEN KICKED OUT
OF ENOUGH OF THEM TO KNOW
THEY WANT TO BECOME LESS CALLOW
LESS SHALLOW
BUT I SAY: WHY INVITE STRESS IN?
STOP STUDYING STRIFE
AND LEARN TO LIVE “THE UNEXAMINED LIFE”…
DANCING THROUGH LIFE
SKIMMING THE SURFACE
GLIDING WHERE TURF IS SMOOTH
LIFE’S MORE PAINLESS
FOR THE BRAINLESS
WHY THINK TOO HARD?
WHEN IT’S SO SOOTHING
DANCING THROUGH LIFE
NO NEED TO TOUGH IT
WHEN YOU CAN SLOUGH IT OFF AS I DO
NOTHING MATTERS
BUT KNOWING NOTHING MATTERS
IT’S JUST LIFE
SO KEEP DANCING THROUGH…
DANCING THROUGH LIFE
SWAYING AND SWEEPING
AND ALWAYS KEEPING COOL
LIFE IS FRAUGHT LESS
WHEN YOU’RE THOUGHTLESS
THOSE WHO DON’T TRY
NEVER LOOK FOOLISH
DANCING THROUGH LIFE…
MINDLESS AND CARELESS
MAKE SURE YOU’RE WHERE LESS
TROUBLE IS RIFE
WOES ARE FLEETING
BLOWS ARE GLANCING…
WHEN YOU’RE DANCING…
THROUGH LIFE…
So—what’s the most swankified place in town?
GALINDA
That would be the Ozdust Ballroom
FIYERO
Sounds perfect!
(Sings)
LET’S GO DOWN TO THE OZDUST BALLROOM
WE’LL MEET THERE LATER TONIGHT
WE CAN DANCE TILL IT’S LIGHT
FIND THE PRETTIEST GIRL…
GIVER ‘ER A WHIRL
RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE OZDUST BALLROOM
COME ON—FOLLOW ME
YOU’LL BE HAPPY TO BE THERE…
ALL
DANCING THROUGH LIFE
DOWN AT THE OZDUST…
FIYERO
IF ONLY BECAUSE DUST
IS WHAT WE COME TO…
ALL
NOTHING MATTERS
BUT KNOWING NOTHING MATTERS
IT’S JUST LIFE…
FIYERO
SO KEEP DANCING THROUGH…
BOQ
Miss Galinda—I hope you’ll save at least one dance for me. I’ll be right there. Right by your side. Waiting. All night.
GALINDA
Oh—that’s so kind—Bick.
BOQ
Boq.
GALINDA
But you know what would be even kinder?
(Sings)
SEE THAT TRAGIC’LY BEAUTIFUL GIRL
THE ONE IN THE CHAIR
IT SEEMS SO UNFAIR
WE SHOULD GO ON A SPREE
AND NOT SHEE
GEE—
I KNOW SOMEONE WOULD BE MY HERO
IF THAT SOMEONE WERE
TO GO INVITE HER…
BOQ
Well, maybe—I could invite her!
GALINDA
OH, BICK, REALLY? YOU WOULD DO THAT FOR ME!?
BOQ
I would do anything for you, Miss Galinda. Excuse me, Miss Nessarose? There’s something I’d like to ask you…
(BOQ wheels NESSAROSE away. FIYERO approaches GALINDA with admiration.)
FIYERO
You’re good.
GALINDA
I don’t know what you mean! But I do happen to be free tonight, so…
FIYERO
…So I’ll be picking you up around eight?
GALINDA
After all—
(Sings)
NOW THAT WE’VE MET ONE ANOTHER…
FIYERO & GALINDA
IT’S CLEAR—WE DESERVE EACH OTHER
GALINDA
YOU’RE PERFECT…
FIYERO
YOU’RE PERFECT…
BOTH
SO WE’RE PERFECT TOGETHER
BORN TO BE FOREVER…
DANCING THROUGH LIFE…
SCENE 6
(ELPHABA, observing the other STUDENTS in this celebratory frenzy, expresses her disdain for FIYERO to NESSAROSE.)
ELPHABA
It’s absurd! This silly rich boy appears and everyone’s off to worship him and some cultish social gathering!
NESSAROSE
Even me! I’m going! Isn’t it wonderful? Boq was too shy to ask me at first but once Galinda encouragerized him—
ELPHABA
Galinda?!
NESSAROSE
Don’t! Don’t you dare say another word against her. I’m about to have the first happy night of my life, thanks to Galinda.
(Sings)
FIN’LLY, FOR THIS ONE NIGHT
I’M ABOUT TO HAVE A FUN NIGHT
WITH THIS MUNCHKIN BOY
GALINDA FOUND FOR ME
AND I ONLY WISH THERE WERE
SOMETHING I COULD DO FOR HER
TO REPAY HER
ELPHABA, SEE?
WE DESERVE EACH OTHER
AND GALINDA HELPED IT COME TRUE
WE DESERVE EACH OTHER
ME AND BOQ…
Please, Elphaba—try to understand…
ELPHABA
I DO…
(In the room she shares with ELPHABA, GALINDA prepares for the dance.)
GALINDA
Do me up. And now I must accessorize myself for Fiyero.
(Two mean girls, PFANNEE and SHENSHEN, find a pointy black hat amongst GALINDA’S things.)
SHENSHEN
Galinda, what in Oz name?
GALINDA
Pretend you didn’t see that. My granny is always buying me the most hideoteous hats. I’d give it away but I don’t hate anyone that much.
PFANNEE & SHENSHEN
Yes you do.
GALINDA
Oh no. I couldn’t. Could I?
(ELPHABA comes to thank GALINDA for her kindness to NESSAROSE.)
ELPHABA
Galinda—my sister and I were talking about you just now—
GALINDA
And I was just talking about you! I thought you might want to wear this to the party tonight!
(Sings)
IT’S REALLY, UH, SHARP, DON’T YOU THINK?
YOU KNOW—BLACK IS THIS YEAR’S PINK
YOU DESERVE EACH OTHER
THIS HAT AND YOU
YOU’RE BOTH SO SMART
YOU DESERVE EACH OTHER
SO HERE, OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART…
(Later, in the Ozdust Ballroom, FIYERO and GALINDA dance as BOQ and NESSAROSE look on.)
NESSAROSE
What’s in the punch?
BOQ
Lemons and melons and pears.
NESSAROSE
Oh my!
BOQ
LISTEN—NESSA—
NESSAROSE
YES?
BOQ
UH—NESSA
I’VE GOT SOMETHING TO CONFESS, A
REASON WHY, WELL—WHY I ASKED YOU HERE TONIGHT
NOW I KNOW IT ISN’T FAIR…
NESSAROSE
Oh, Boq. I know why.
BOQ
You do?
NESSAROSE
IT’S BECAUSE I’M IN THIS CHAIR
AND YOU FELT SORRY FOR ME—
WELL? ISN’T THAT RIGHT?
BOQ
No! No! It’s because… because…
(But he can’t bring himself to tell her the truth.)
BOQ
BECAUSE YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL
NESSAROSE
OH, BOQ, I THINK YOU’RE WONDERFUL!
AND WE DESERVE EACH OTHER
DON’T YOU SEE, THIS IS OUR CHANCE?
WE DESERVE EACH OTHER
DON’T WE, BOQ?
BOQ
YOU KNOW WHAT? LET’S DANCE!
NESSAROSE
What?
BOQ
LET’S DANCE!
(BOQ begins to wheel a smitten NESSAROSE onto the dance floor. Suddenly, MADAME MORRIBLE struts into the Ozdust.)
MORRIBLE
Miss Upland!
GALINDA
Madame Morrible! What are you doing here?
MORRIBLE
I have something for you.
GALINDA
Oh, Madame! A training wand! How can I ever express my gratitution?
MORRIBLE
Don’t thank me. This was your roommate’s idea, not mine.
GALINDA
What? Elphaba?
MORRIBLE
Yes, Miss Elphaba requested that I include you in sorcery class. She insisted that I tell you this very night or she would quite the seminar.
GALINDA
But why?
MORRIBLE
I have no idea! My personal opinion is that you do not have what it takes. I hope you prove me wrong. I doubt you will!
FIYERO
What is it?
GALINDA
I got what I wanted.
FIYERO
So what’s the matter?
GALINDA
Nothing.
FIYERO
Good. Let’s dance.
(ELPHABA walks in, wearing a pointing black hat. In a split second ELPHABA realizes that GALINDA has tricked her. The other STUDENTS laugh and point.)
FIYERO
Who in Oz is that?
GALINDA
My roommate. Please don’t stare.
FIYERO
How can you help it?
(Determined to ignore them, ELPHABA closes her eyes and, all by herself, starts to dance—Galinda feels terrible for what she’s done.)
FIYERO
I’ll say this much for her: she doesn’t give a twig about what anyone else thinks.
GALINDA
Of coarse she does, she just pretends not to. I feel awful.
FIYERO
Why? It’s not like it’s your fault.
GALINDA
Excuse me.
(In a show of solidarity, she joins ELPHABA on the dance floor.)
GALINDA
May I cut in?
ALL
DANCING THROUGH LIFE
DOWN AT THE OZDUST
IF ONLY BECAUSE DUST
IS WHAT WE COME TO
AND THE STRANGE THING:
YOUR LIFE COULD END OF CHANGING
WHILE YOU’RE DANCING
THROUGH!
SCENE 7
(Back in their dormitory room, ELPHABA and GALINDA have been up all night.)
GALINDA
Your very first party ever?
ELPHABA
Do funerals count?
GALINDA
You very first party! I know, let’s each tell the other something we’ve never told anyone! I’ll go first! Fiyero and I are going to be married!
ELPHABA
He’s asked you already?!
GALINDA
No, he doesn’t know yet. Now you tell me a secret.
ELPHABA
Like what?
GALINDA
Like… like why do you sleep with this funny little green bottle underneath your pillow?
ELPHABA
Give it back!
GALINDA
Come on, tell me!
ELPHABA
Give it to me now!
GALINDA
Tell me!
ELPHABA
It was my mothers! That’s all.
GALINDA
That’s not fair, I told you a really good one!
ELPHABA
My father hates me.
(GALINDA gasps)
ELPHABA
That’s not the secret. The secret is he has a good reason. It’s my fault.
GALINDA
What? What is?
ELPHABA
The reason my sister is the way she is. You see, when our mother was carrying Nessa, my father began to worry that the new baby might come out…
GALINDA & ELPHABA
…green…
ELPHABA
He was so worried he made our mother chew milk flowers day and night. Only it made Nessa come too soon, with her little legs all tangled. And our mother never woke up. None of which would have ever happened if not for me.
GALINDA
But that was the milk flower’s fault, not yours. That may be your secret, Elphaba, but it doesn’t make it true. Look—it’s tomorrow! And Elphie—is it alright if I call you Elphie?
ELPHABA
Well, it’s a little perky.
GALINDA
And you can call me… Galinda. You see Elphie, now that we’re friends, I’ve decided to make you my new project.
ELPHABA
You really don’t have to do that.
GALINDA
I know. That’s what make me so nice!
(Sings)
WHENEVER I SEE SOMEONE
LESS FORTUNATE THAN I
AND LET’S FACE IT—WHO ISN’T
LESS FORTUNATE THAN I?
MY TENDER HEART
TENDS TO START TO BLEED
AND WHEN SOMEONE NEEDS A MAKEOVER
I SIMPLY HAVE TO TAKE OVER
I KNOW I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED
AND EVEN IN YOUR CASE
THO’ IT’S THE TOUGHEST CASE I’VE YET TO FACE
DON’T WORRY—I’M DETERMINED TO SUCCEED
FOLLOW MY LEAD
AND YES, INDEED
YOU WILL BE…
POPULAR!
YOU’RE GONNA BE POPULAR!
I’LL TEACH YOU THE PROPER PLOYS
WHEN YOU TALK TO BOYS
LITTLE WAYS TO FLIRT AND FLOUNCE
I’LL SHOW YOU WHAT SHOES TO WEAR
HOW TO FIX YOUR HAIR
EVERYTHING THAT REALLY COUNTS TO BE POPULAR!
I’LL HELP YOU BE POPULAR!
YOU’LL HANG WITH THE RIGHT COHORTS
YOU’LL BE GOOD AT SPORTS
KNOW THE SLANG YOU’VE GOT TO KNOW
SO LET’S START
‘CAUSE YOU’VE GOT AN AWF’LLY LONG WAY TO GO…
DON’T BE OFFENDED BY MY FRANK ANALYSIS
THINK OF IT AS PERSONALITY DIALYSIS
NOW THAT I’VE CHOSEN TO BECOME A PAL, A SIS—
TER AND ADVISER
THERE’S NOBODY WISER
NOT WHEN IT COMES TO POPULAR—
I KNOW ABOUT POPULAR
AND WITH AN ASSIST FROM ME
TO BE WHO YOU’LL BE
INSTEAD OF DREARY WHO-YOU-WERE… ARE…
THERE’S NOTHING THAT CAN STOP YOU
FROM BECOMING POPU—
LER… LAR…
LA LA LA LA
WE’RE GONNA MAKE
YOU POPULAR…
WHEN I SEE DEPRESSING CREATURES
WITH UNPREPOSSESSING FEATURES
I REMIND THEM ON THEIR OWN BEHALF
TO THINK OF
CELEBRATED HEADS OF STATE OR
‘SPECIALLY GREAT COMMUNICATORS
DID THEY HAVE BRAINS OR KNOWLEDGE?
DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH!
THEY WERE POPULAR! PLEASE—
IT’S ALL ABOUT POPULAR!
IT’S NOT ABOUT APTITUDE
IT’S THE WAY YOU’RE VIEWED
SO IT’S VERY SHREWD TO BE
VERY VERY POPULAR
LIKE ME!
ELPHABA
This is never going to work…
GALINDA
Elphie! You mustn’t think that way anymore! Your whole life is going to change! And all because of me! First: hair. See? This is how you toss your hair: Toss. Toss.
(She demonstrates and ELPHABA tries.)
GALINDA
Well—you’ll practice! And now—
(She picks up her new magic wand—it’s quite small, a training wand.)
GALINDA
I shall transform your simple “frock” into a magnificent ball gown. Ball gown.
(She tries and fails, then examines the wand, puzzled.)
GALINDA
Is this thing on?
ELPHABA
You want me to try?
GALINDA
Oh, just wear the frock it’s pretty! Oh—and this!
(GALINDA takes a flower from her own hair, pins in into ELPHABA’S.)
GALINDA
Pink goes good with green. Why, Miss Elphaba—look at you. You’re beautiful.
(She guides her friend to a mirror. ELPHABA stares at herself: For a moment it seems possible. And then—she forces herself to turn away.)
ELPHABA
I—I have to go—
GALINDA
You’re welcome!
(Sings)
AND THO’ YOU PROTEST
YOUR DISINTEREST
I KNOW CLANDESTINEDLY
YOU’RE GONNA GRIN AND BEAR IT
YOUR NEW-FOUND POPULARITY—
LA LA LA LA
YOU’LL BE POPULAR
JUST NOT QUITE AS POPULAR
AS ME!
SCENE 8
(Lecture Hall)
ELPHABA
Toss. Toss. What?!
FIYERO
Nothing. It’s just you’ve been Galindafied. “Toss. Toss.” You don’t need to do that you know.
DILLAMOND
Take your seats, class. Take your seats, please. I have something to say and very little time. My dear students, this is my last day here at Shiz. Animals are no longer permitted to teach.
ELPHABA
What?!
DILLAMOND
Please Miss Elphaba. I’d like to thank you all for sharing with me your enthusiasm, your essays, however feebly structured, and even on occasion your lunch.
(DOCTOR DILLAMOND’S lecture is interrupted by MADAME MORRIBLE and several OZIAN OFFICIALS.)
MORRIBLE
Oh, Doctor, I am so terribly sorry.
ELPHABA
Madame, you can’t permit this!
DILLAMOND
Miss Elphaba, don’t worry about me. They can take away my job but I shall continue speaking out!
OZIAN OFFICIAL
Come on, goat.
DILLAMOND
You’re not being told the whole story! Remember that, class!
(DOCTOR DILLAMOND is taken away.)
ELPHABA
Doctor Dillamond! Well, are we all just going to sit here in silence?!
MORRIBLE
Miss Elphaba, I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do.
ELPHABA
But, Madame—
MORRIBLE
Please, my dear, take your seat.
(One OFFICIAL takes over the class.)
OZIAN OFFICIAL
Good afternoon, students!
MORRIBLE
Good afternoon!
STUDENTS
Good afternoon.
OZIAN OFFICIAL
More and more everyday with each tick of the Time Dragon Clock in every corner of our great Oz, one hears the silence of progress! For example, this is called a cage!
(He reveals this devise to the STUDENTS. There is a small Lion Cub trapped inside.)
OZIAN OFFICIAL
Yes, you’ll be seeing more and more of them in the future. This remarkable innovation is actually for the Animal’s own good!
ELPHABA
If it’s for his own good, than why is he trembling?
OZIAN OFFICIAL
He’s excited to be here, that’s all! As I was saying, one of the benefits of caging a Lion Cub this young is the he will never in fact learn how to speak!
ELPHABA
Oh no!
OZIAN OFFICIAL
That’s right! Gather around!
ELPHABA
Can you imagine a world where Animals are kept in cages and they never speak?!
OZIAN OFFICIAL
He does seem a bit agitated by that is easily remedied!
ELPHABA
What are we going to do?!
FIYERO
We?
ELPHABA
Well somebody as to do something!!!
(ELPHABA becomes so distraught that she involuntarily casts a spell over the entire CLASS—except FIYERO.)
FIYERO
What’s happening?
ELPHABA
I don’t know! I got mad and then—
FIYERO
Don’t move. And don’t get mad at me.
(FIYERO grabs the cage.)
FIYERO
Well? Are you coming?
(The two head out to the forest, where they can set the Lion Club free.)
SCENE 9
ELPHABA
Careful! Don’t shake him!
FIYERO
I’m not!
ELPHABA
We can’t just let him loose anywhere you know! We’ve got to find someplace safe!
FIYERO
I realize that too! You think I’m really stupid don’t you?
ELPHABA
No, not really stupid.
FIYERO
Why is it that every time I see you you’re causing some sort of commotion?
ELPHABA
I don’t cause commotions, I am one!
FIYERO
That’s for sure.
ELPHABA
So you think I should just keep my mouth shut, is that what you’re saying?!
FIYERO
No! What I’m saying—
ELPHABA
Do you think I want to be this way? Do you think I want to care this much?
FIYERO
Look, all I meant was—
ELPHABA
Do you think I don’t know how easier my life would be if I didn’t?
FIYERO
Do you ever let anybody else talk?
ELPHABA
Oh, sorry. But can I say one more thing? You could have walked away back there.
FIYERO
So?
ELPHABA
So no matter how shallow and self-absorbed you pretend to be—
FIYERO
Excuse me, there’s no pretense here: I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow.
ELPHABA
No you’re not. Or you wouldn’t be so unhappy.
FIYERO
Fine if you don’t want my help—
ELPHABA
No, I do! His heart is pounding. I didn’t mean to frighten him.
FIYERO
What did you mean to do? And why was I the only one you didn’t do it to?
ELPHABA
You’re bleeding.
FIYERO
I am?
ELPHABA
It must have scratched you.
FIYERO
Yeah. Or maybe it scratched me or something. I better get to safety. I mean the cub!
ELPHABA
Of course!
FIYERO
Get the cub to safety.
(FIYERO leaves.)
ELPHABA
Fiyero!
(ELPHABA realizes that she could love FIYERO, yet she feels more alone than ever.)
ELPHABA
HANDS TOUCH, EYES MEET
SUDDEN SILENCE, SUDDEN HEAT
HEARTS LEAP IN A GIDDY WHIRL
HE COULD BE THAT BOY
I’M NOT THAT GIRL
DON’T DREAM TOO FAR
DON’T LOSE SIGHT OF WHO YOU ARE
DON’T REMEMBER THAT RUSH OF JOY
HE COULD BE THAT BOY
I’M NOT THAT GIRL
EV’RY SO OFTEN HE LONG TO STEAL
TO THE LAND OF WHAT-MIGHT-HAVE-BEEN
BUT THAT DOESN’T SOFTEN THE ACHE WE FEEL
WHEN REALITY SETS BACK IN
BLITHE SMILE, LITHE LIMB
SHE WHO’S WINSOME, SHE WINS HIM
GOLD HAIR WITH A GENTLE CURL
THAT’S THE GIRL HE CHOSE
AND HEAVEN KNOWS
I’M NOT THAT GIRL…
DON’T WISH, DON’T START
WISHING ONLY WOUNDS THE HEART
I WASN’T BORN FOR THE ROSE AND PEARL
THERE’S A GIRL I KNOW
HE LOVES HER SO
I’M NOT THAT GIRL…
(MADAME MORRIBLE comes upon ELPHABA, taking shelter from the rain, and approaches her excitedly.)
MORRIBLE
Miss Elphaba! There you are!
ELPHABA
Madame Morrible!
MORRIBLE
Oh, I have thrillifying news! I’ve finally heard back from the Wizard, and my dear—he wishes to meet you!
ELPHABA
He asked for me?! Personally?!
MORRIBLE
Yes! I know how devastrated you were the other day for our poor Doctor Dillamond but you see my dear, one door closes and another opens!
ELPHABA
I don’t know what to say! Madame, how can I ever thank you?
MORRIBLE
Careful my dear, you mustn’t get wet. Wait, I know.
(She makes a sudden dramatic gesture, and the rain instantly stops.)
MORRIBLE
Oh, didn’t I ever mention? Weather is my specialty. Oz speed, my dear.
(Sings)
NOW YOU’RE OFF TO MEET THE WIZARD
MAKE ME PROUD!
ELPHABA
I will—I’ll try…
(Sings)
AND THERE WE’LL FINALLY BE:
THE WIZARD AND I…
SCENE 10
(GALINDA has accompanied ELPHABA to the train station to bid her goodbye.)
CONDUCTOR
All aboard!
NESSAROSE
Elphaba, I am so proud of you! I know father will be too. We’re all proud aren’t we?
ELPHABA
Will you be alright without me?
GALINDA
She’ll be fine. Bick will keep her company. Won’t you, Bick?
BOQ
It’s Boq! I can’t do this anymore!
(BOQ runs out)
NESSAROSE
Boq!
GALINDA
Nessa, maybe he just isn’t the right one for you.
NESSAROSE
No! He’s the one. It’s me that’s not right. Don’t worry about me, Elphaba, I’ll be fine. Safe journey.
(NESSAROSE wheels after BOQ)
ELPHABA
Nessa! Wait!
GALINDA
Elphie, let her go. She’ll have to manage without you. We all will.
(All at once, GALINDA breaks into tears.)
ELPHABA
You’ll barely notice I’m gone. You have Fiyero. Where is he anyway? Not that I expected him to say goodbye to me. I mean, we barely know each other.
GALINDA
I don’t know him either. Not anymore. He’s distant and moodified. And he’s been thinking which really worries me. It all started the day Doctor Dillamond got fired. I never knew he cared so much about that old Goat. Oh, look there he is! He did come! Fiyero! Over here, dearest!
FIYERO
Elphaba, I’m happy for you.
GALINDA
Yes, we are both so happy for you!
FIYERO
I’ve been thinking—
ELPHABA
Yes, I’ve heard.
FIYERO
About the Lion Cub and everything. I think about that day a lot.
ELPHABA
So do I.
GALINDA
Me too! I think about it constantly! Poor Doctor Dillamond! It makes one want to take a stand! In fact, I’ve been thinking about… about… changing my name!
FIYERO
Your name?
GALINDA
Why yes! Since Doctor Dillamond had his own way of pronouncing my name, in solidarity and to express my…um… outrage I will henceforward no longer be known as Galinda but as simply Glinda!
FIYERO
That’s very admirable of you, Glinda.
GLINDA
Fiyero…
FIYERO
Elphaba, good luck.
SCENE 11
GLINDA
Well, there! You see?!
ELPHABA
Oh, don’t cry, Galinda!
GLINDA
It’s Glinda now! Stupid idea, I don’t even know what made me say it!
ELPHABA
It doesn’t matter what your name is, everyone loves you.
GLINDA
I don’t care! I want him! I don’t even think he’s perfect anymore and I still want him! This must be what other people feel like. How do they bear it?!
ELPHABA
Come with me.
GLINDA
Where?
ELPHABA
To the Emerald City
GLINDA
Really?
TOURISTS
ONE SHORT DAY
IN THE EMERALD CITY
GLINDA
I’ve always wanted t see the Emerald City
TOURISTS
ONE SHORT DAY
IN THE EMERALD CITY
SCENE 12
(The Emerald City
TOURISTS
ONE SHORT DAY
IN THE EMERALD CITY
ONE SHORT DAY
FULL OF SO MUCH TO DO
THAT YOU LOOK IN THIS CITY
THERE’S SOMETHING EXQUISITE
YOU’LL WANT TO VISIT
BEFORE THE DAY’S THROUGH!
ELPHABA
THERE ARE BUILDINGS TALL AS QUOXWOOD TREES
GLINDA
DRESS SALONS
ELPHABA
AND LIBRARIES
GLINDA
PALACES!
ELPHABA
MUSEUMS!
BOTH
A HUNDRED STRONG…
THERE ARE WONDERS LIKE I’VE NEVER SEEN
GLINDA
IT’S ALL GRAND
ELPHABA
AND IT’S ALL GREEN
BOTH
I THINK WE’VE FOUND THE PLACE WHERE WE BELONG!
I WANNA BE
IN THIS HOI POLLOI
ELPHABA
SO I’LL BE BACK FOR GOOD SOMEDAY
GLINDA
TO MAKE MY LIFE AND MAKE MY WAY…
BOTH
BUT FOR TODAY, WE’LL WANDER AND ENJOY…
ALL
ONE SHORT DAY
IN THE EMERALD CITY
ONE SHORT DAY
TO HAVE A LIFETIME OF FUN
ONE SHORT DAY…
ELPHABA & GLINDA
AND WE’RE WARNING THE CITY:
NOW THAT WE’RE IN HERE
YOU’LL KNOW WE’VE BEEN HERE
ALL
BEFORE WE ARE DONE!
(They are in front of a Broadway-style marquee that reads Wiz-o-mania. TOURISTS pour into the theatre. GLINDA takes in the scene, enthralled.)
GLINDA
The night-life! The hustle and bustle! It’s all so… ozmopolitan! Elphie, come on—we’ll be late for Wizomania!
ELPHABA
I want to remember this moment. Always. Nobody’s staring. Nobody’s pointing. For the first time, I’m somewhere… where I belong.
GLINDA
You look positively—emerald!
(They take each other’s hands and run into the theatre.)
WIZOMANIA CHORUS
WHO’S THE MAGE
WHOSE MAJOR ITINERARY
IS MAKNG ALL OZ MERRIER?
WHO’S THE SAGE
WHO SAGELY SAILED IN TO SAVE
OUR POSTERIORS?
WHOSE ENTHUSE FOR HOT AIR BALLOONING
HAS ALL OZ HONEYMOONING?
WOO-OO-OO…
WIZ-N’T HE WONDERFUL?
(OUR WONDERFUL WIZARD!)
AUDIENCE WIZOMANIA CHORUS
ONE SHORT DAY WHO’S THE MAGE
IN THE EMERALD WHOSE MAJOR ITINERARY
CITY IS MAKING ALL OZ MERRIER
ONE SHORT DAY WHO’S THE SAGE WHO
TO HAVE A LIFETIME OF FUN SAGELY SAILED IN TO SAVE
OUR POSTERIORS…
ALL
WHAT A WAY
TO BE SEEING THE CITY…
ELPHABA & GLINDA
WHERE SO MANY ROAM TO
WE’LL CALL IT HOME TOO
AND THEN, JUST LIKE NOW
WE CAN SAY:
WE’RE JUST TWO FRIENDS…
ELPHABA
TWO GOOD FRIENDS…
GLINDA
TWO BEST FRIENDS…
ALL
SHARING ONE WONDERFUL
ONE SHORT…
GUARD
The Wizard will see you now!
ALL
DAY!
SCENE 13
(In the Wizard’s private chamber…)
OZ HEAD
I am Oz!
GLINDA
Elphie!
OZ HEAD
I am Oz, the great and terrible! Who are you and why do you seek me?!
GLINDA
Say something!
ELPHABA
I am Elphaba Thropp, Your Terribleness! And this is my best friend—
WIZARD’S VOICE
Oh, is that you Elphaba? I didn’t realize!
(ELPHABA and GLINDA come face to face with the WIZARD OF OZ.)
WIZARD
I hope I didn’t startle ya! It’s so hard to make out people’s faces when I’m back there. So, let’s see, which is which? Elphaba! A pleasure, Elphaba! And you must be…
GLINDA
Glinda, the Ga is silent.
(ELPHABA is observing the Oz Head.)
WIZARD
I know, it’s a bit much isn’t it? But people expect this sort of thing and you have to give people what they want.
ELPHABA
I’m so happy to meet you.
WIZARD
Well, that’s good—cuz that’s what I love best—making people happy.
(Sings)
I AM A SENTIMENTAL MAN
WHO ALWAYS LONGED TO BE A FATHER
THAT’S WHY I DO THE BEST I CAN
TO TREAT EACH CITIZEN OF OZ AS SON—
OR DAUGHTER…
SO ELPHABA, I’D LIKE TO RAISE YOU HIGH
‘CUZ I THINK EV’RYONE DESERVES
THE CHANCE TO FLY
AND HELPING YOU WITH YOUR ASCENT AL
LOWS ME TO FEEL SO PARENTAL
FOR I AM A SENTIMENTAL MAN…
ELPHABA
Oh Your Ozness, I knew you would help! You see, we’re here not just for ourselves.
GLINDA
We’re not?
ELPHABA
No! We are here because something bad is happening to the Animals—
WIZARD
Please! I’m the Wizard of Oz! I already know why you’ve come.
ELPHABA & GLINDA
Oooooh!
WIZARD
I fully intend of granting your request. Of course, you must prove yourself first.
GLINDA
Of course! Prove yourself! Prove yourself!
ELPHABA
But how?
WIZARD
Madame, the book!
MORRIBLE
Right away, Your Ozness!
(To the GIRLS’ amazement, MADAME MORRIBLE appears.)
GLINDA
Madame Morrible?!
WIZARD
I believe you’re acquainted with my new press secretary.
ELPHABA
Press secretary?!
MORRIBLE
Yes dearies, I have risen up in the world! You will find that the Wizard is a very generous man! If you do something for him he will do much for you!
ELPHABA
But what would you like me to do?
WIZARD
This is my monkey servant, Chistery. He watches the birds so longingly every moring.
MORRIBLE
So his Ozness was thinking perhaps a levitation spell.
(She holds an ancient looking book out to ELPHABA.)
GLINDA
I don’t believe it. Is that… The Grimmerie!?
MORRIBLE
Yes. The Ancient Book of Thaumaturgy and Enchantments.
GLINDA
Can I touch it?
MORRIBLE
No.
ELPHABA
What funny writing.
MORRIBLE
It’s a lost language—the lost language of spells.
WIZARD
A kind of recipe book, for change.
MORRIBLE
Don’t be discouraged if you cannot decipherate it, dearie. I myself can only read a spell or two and that took years and years of constant study—
ELPHABA
Ahben Tahkay…
MORRIBLE ELPHABA
Merciful Oz! Ahben Tahkay…
WIZARD ELPHABA
Oh, Chistery! What an experience you’re about to have! Ahben Atum Ahben
(Sings)
SINCE ONCE I HAD MY OWN DAY IN THE SKY Takayah Entayah Ah Entayah
Tifentah
I SAY EVERYONE DESERVES THE CHANCE TO FLY! Ahben Tahkay Ah
(CHISTERY starts twitching, in pain.)
ELPHABA
What is it? Is something wrong?
MORRIBLE
It’s just the transition, dearie!
ELPHABA
Chistery, are you alright?! Why can’t he answer me?!
(CHISTERY sprouts wings.)
GLINDA
You did it! You actually did it!
ELPHABA
He’s in pain! Quick, tell me how to reverse it!
MORRIBLE
You can’t!
ELPHABA
What?!
MORRIBLE
You can’t reverse a spell! Spells are irreversible! I knew it! I knew she had the power! I told you!
ELPHABA
You planned all this?
MORRIBLE
For you too, dearie! You benefit too!
WIZARD
And this is only the beginning! Look!
(He pulls a lever to reveal his caged pet monkeys, now all have wings.)
WIZARD
If this is how you do on your first time out skies the limit!
MORRIBLE
Such wingspan! Won’t they make perfect spies?
ELPHABA
Spies?
WIZARD
You’re right, that’s a harsh words. What about… scouts! That’s what they’ll be really. They’ll fly around Oz, reporting and subversive Animal activity.
ELPHABA
So it’s you. You’re behind it all.
WIZARD
Elphaba, when I first got here there was discourt and discontent, and where I come from everyone knows that the best way to bring folks together is to give them a really good enemy.
ELPHABA
You can’t read this book at all, can you? That’s why you need an enemy and spies and cages! You have no real power!
WIZARD
Exactly. And that’s why I need you. Don’t you see? The world’s your oyster now! You have so many opportunities ahead of you! You both do!
GLINDA
Oh thank you, Your Ozness!
WIZARD
THE TWO OF YOU
IT’S TIME I RAISED YOU HIGH
YES!
THE TIME HAD COME FOR YOU
TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO—
ELPHABA
No!!!
(ELPHABA grabs The Grimmerie and runs from the room.)
MORRIBLE
Elphaba!
GLINDA
Elphie, wait! I’m sorry, Your Oznees. I’ll get her back. Elphie!
(GLINDA goes after her.)
WIZARD
We’ve got to get her back! She’s knows too much!
MORRIBLE
Don’t worry, You Ozness! I’ll handle it!
(MADAME MORRIBLE leaves.)
OZ HEAD
Guards! Guards!
(The PALACE GUARDS enter.)
OZ HEAD
There’s a fugitive at arms in the palace! Find her! Capture her! Bring her to me!
GUARDS
Yes, Your Ozness!
(They march out.)
SCENE 14
(The girls have fled to the upmost turret of the Wizard’s Pakace.)
GLINDA
Elphie, wait! Where are you going?!
ELPHABA
Oh no! There are no more stairs!
GLINDA
Elphaba, listen to me!
ELPHABA
The guards are coming up! We have to barricade the door!
GLINDA
What?!
ELPHABA
I’ll use this!
(ELPHABA blockades the door shut with an old broom.)
GLINDA
Why couldn’t you have just stayed calm, for once! Instead of flying off the handle!
(Sings)
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY NOW
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY HOW YOU
HURT YOUR CAUSE FOREVER
I HOPE YOU THINK YOU’RE CLEVER
ELPHABA
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY TOO
I HOPE YOU’RE PROUD HOW YOU
WOULD GROVEL IN SUBMISSION
TO FEED YOUR OWN AMBITION
BOTH
SO THOUGH I CAN’T IMAGINE HOW
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY RIGHT NOW…
MORRIBLE’S VOICE
Citizens of Oz, there is an enemy who must be found and captured! Believe nothing she says, she is evil! Responsible for the mutilation of these poor, innocent monkeys!
GLINDA
Oh no.
MORRIBLE’S VOICE
Her green skin is but an outward manifestorium of her twisted nature! This distortion! This repulsion!! This Wicked Witch!!!
GLINDA
Don’t be afraid.
ELPHABA
I’m not. It’s the Wizard who should be afraid… of me!
GLINDA
Elphie, listen to me. Just say you’re sorry. Before it’s too late…
(Sings)
YOU CAN STILL BE WITH THE WIZARD
WHAT YOU’VE WORKED AND WAITED FOR
YOU CAN HAVE ALL YOU’VE EVER WANTED…
ELPHABA
I know—
(Sings)
BUT I DON’T WANT I—
NO—I CAN’T WANT IT
ANYMORE…
SOMETHING HAS CHANGED WITHIN ME
SOMETHING IS NOT THE SAME
I’M THROUGH WITH PLAYIING BY THE RULES
OF SOMEONE ELSE’S GAME
TOO LATE FOR SECOND GUESSING
TOO LATE TO GO BACK TO SLEEP
IT’S TIME TO TRUST MY INSTINCTS
CLOSE MY EYES AND LEAP
IT’S TIME TO TRY
DEFYING GRAVITY
I THINK I’LL TRY
DEFYING GRAVITY
AND YOU CAN’T PULL ME DOWN…
GLINDA
CAN’T I MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND, YOU’RE
HAVING DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR…?
ELPHABA
I’M THROUGH ACCEPTING LIMITS
‘CAUSE SOMEONE SAYS THEY’RE SO
SOME THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
BUT TIL I TRY, I’LL NEVER KNOW
TOO LONG I’VE BEEN AFRAID OF
LOSING LOVE I GUESS I’VE LOST
WELL, IF THAT’S LOVE
IT COMES AT MUCH TOO HIGH A COST
I’D SOONER BUY
DEFYING GRAVITY
KISS ME GOODBYE
I’M DEFYING GRAVITY
AND YOU CAN’T PULL ME DOWN…
GUARDS’ VOICE
Open this door! In the name of His Supreme Ozness!
GLINDA ELPHABA
What are you doing?! Ah May
That’s what started all of this in the first place! Ah Tay Ah
That hideous levitation spell! Tum Ditum
Stop!!!
GLINDA
Well? Where are your wings? Maybe you’re not as powerful as you think you are.
(The old broom levitates over to ELPHABA.)
GLINDA
Sweet Oz!
ELPHABA
I told you, Glinda! Didn’t I tell you!
GUARDS’ VOICE
Bash it in! Fetch the battering ramikin!
ELPHABA
Quick get on!
GLINDA
What?!
ELPHABA
Come with me. Think of what we can do… together.
(Sings)
UNLIMITED
TOGETHER WE’RE UNLIMITED
TOGETHER WE’LL BE THE GREATEST TEAM
THERE’S EVER BEEN
GLINDA—
DREAMS THE WAY WE PLANNED ‘EM…
GLINDA
IF WE WORK IN TANDEM…
BOTH
THERE’S NO FIGHT WE CANNOT WIN
JUST YOU AND I
DEFYIING GRAVITY
WITH YOU AND I
DEFYING GRAVITY
ELPHABA
THEY’LL NEVER BRING US DOWN…
Well? Are you coming?
(The answer is no, but GLINDA can’t bring herself to say it. Instead, she gets an old blanket from a shelf and wrps it around ELPHABA’S shoulders.)
GLINDA
Elphie, you’re trembling. Here… put this around you.
(Sings)
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY
NOW THAT YOU’RE CHOOSING THIS…
ELPHABA
YOU TOO—
I HOPE IT BRINGS YOU BLISS
BOTH
I REALLY HOPE YOU GET IT
AND YOU DON’T LIVE TO REGRET IT
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY IN THE END
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY, MY FRIEND…
(The PALACE GUARDS burst in, their muskets drawn.)
GUARD
There she is! Don’t let her get away!
GLINDA
Leave me alone, you hear! Let go of me!
ELPHABA
It’s not her! She has nothing to do with it! I’m the one you want! It’s me!
GLINDA
Elphie!
ELPHABA
It’s meee!
(ELPHABA rides her enchanted broom skyward.)
ELPHABA
SO IF YOU CARE TO FIND ME
LOOK TO THE WESTERN SKY
AS SOMEONE TOLD ME LATELY:
“EV’RYONE DESERVES THE CHANCE TO FLY”
AND IF I’M FLYING SOLO
AT LEAST I’M FLYING FREE
TO THOSE WHO’D GROUND ME
TAKE A MESSAGE BACK FROM ME:
TELL THEM HOW I
AM DEFYING GRAVITY
I’M FLYING HIGH
DEFYING GRAVITY
AND SOON I’LL MATCH THEM IN RENOWN
AND NOBODY IN ALL OF OZ
NO WIZARD THAT THERE IS OR WAS
IS EVER GONNA BRING ME DOWN!
GLINDA
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY!
CITIZENS OF OZ
LOOK AT HER, SHE’S WICKED!
GET HER!
ELPHABA
BRING ME DOWN!
CITIZENS OF OZ
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED
SO WE’VE GOT TO BRING HER…
ELPHABA
AHHHH!
CITIZENS OF OZ
DOWN!
END ACT 1
When two or more people start to sing/ talk at the same time the writing gets messed up. Sory :/
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. I really love this show. So much so that I've seen it 4 times! Thanks again
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ReplyDeleteomg i have to read all of this for choir
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ReplyDeleteIn the Wizard and I, it's "as we work hand in hand" not "when we are hand in hand"
ReplyDeleteIn Dancing through life, it's "and I know it isn't fair" not "now I know it isn't fair"
I know it's the other way on the cast recording. The cast recording is wrong.
2024 here and I gotta do this for school my brain hurts lmaoo...
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